Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Meet the mysterious Katrinka

This very poised pussycat is a Blue Lynx Mitted Ragdoll. Isn't she beautiful? We don't know very much about Katrinka right now...but I'll be sure to tell you more about her as soon as I hear from her owner.

I think Katrinka avoids publicity, but seeing as how she's been selected as a Yarnmarket Fabulous Feline, she might be coerced into telling us a little bit more about herself.


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Anonymous said...

Eeeekkk! Katrinka is now on a yarn label! Scary!

For your information, Katrinka is a retired international exotic hottie female ubltra-spy and uber-assassin, and has been labeled by several authorities as "the most beautiful female in the universe".

Sounds good so far, right? Well, there IS a downside. ... The downside, unless you are a masochist, is that Katrinka is extremely aloof and cold-hearted, cranky, curmudgeonly and irascible.

There is even a Facebook group devoted to her, well, to people who have managed to pet her or kiss her for longer than 60 seconds and yet survived.

I love her.

Her devotee,

Anonymous said...

Total hottie She is adorable! Please to send me her phone number. Thank you for doing the needful.

Anonymous said...

I hate to pop the bubble of illusion spun by the poster Vinny (above), but I happen to know that Katrinka was the elite but despicable international uber-assassin who killed Russian expat Aleksandr Litvinenko in London a few years ago.

She did the deed by spiking his sushi at sushi bar with Po 210 powder.

Not a nice cat at all, but rather ruthless, cold, efficient killing machine. Aloof too.

But yes she is beautiful and exotic as the Vinny above has said. Best to stay far away from this one!

As a mere householder on poverty income, I can but yearn to be in the company of exotic aloof one such as Katrinka.

Anonymous said...

Is this the same exotic retured uber-spy and ultra-assassin Katrinka who was in the headlines a few years ago? Something about a secret affair with a presidential candidate?

Anthony B., US expat in Bangalore

Anonymous said...

ZOMG! HOT9eleventy! She is GORGEOUS! I want her! She is adorable! OMG!!!!

upper east side
also exotic
in despair

Deborah Knight said...

Didn't I see Katrinka leaving the home of Bernie Madoff just before he was taken into custody?

Anonymous said...

Dear Persons:

Katrinka is the personification of all lust, all desire, all wanting, all aching exotic unattainable beauty. She is the unknowable, untouchable, unreachable. She is a goddess.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for posting this beautiful photograf of this beautiful creature. She is exquisite! Most best!

with deep respect and awe,
John Wellsely Unfac, retired

Anonymous said...

Is this not the same exotic hottie Katrinka ex-international uber-assassin who was rumored to have been clandestinely involved with Illinois ex-governor Rod Blagojevich and also in 2008 with Italian president Berlusconi?

warmly but curious,
Shane, upstate NY (it is very cold here!)

Anonymous said...

There seems to be a group at Facebook devoted to this same Katrinka. The group name is:
"Sacred Order of Men and Women Who Have Kissed, Cuddled or Engaged in Heavy Petting with Katrinka, She Who Is, for at Least 5 Consecutive Minutes, Without Having Been Slashed to Death By Her Deadly Claws"

The group has been in existence for several years; membership varies from four to ten persons. Many of the members seem to die, for some unknown reason.

Here is a link to the group page at Facebook:

Simon B.
British expatriate in Goa, India

Anonymous said...

What the heck? Why are people so obsessed about this cat?

Anonymous said...

I'll let you know when the next sail is booked to the Bahamas, wink, wink - Congratulations Katrinka

From Fred (another Fabulous Feline winner)

Anonymous said...

I am very worried about the Facebook group about Katrinka that the Brit expat Simon linked above. I have investigated this group and I fimrly believe that it is a dangerous cult. I will be reporting this "group" to the FBI, the NSA and Homeland Secuirty in the USA and to British MI5 and MI6.

-- G.H.
December 2009

Anonymous said...

To some she's a cat. To others, she's a mystery. Rumour is that many men have sacrificed their careers and their families to have her...if only for a brief moment of pleasure. Tiger was heard to whisper, "Katrinka..." before he ran out to his car.

Deborah Knight said...

G.H. -- You forgot to mention The Mounties.

Vinny Pinto said...

I have just found this page, and I am happy that Katrinka has been near-immortalized in this fashion! She is exotically beautiful, and adorable!

I have known Katrinka for many years, and I love her dearly! I adore her!

with love and care,

Anonymous said...

It is disgusting that this female should be so awarded! Is she not the same exotic international superspy who is reputed to have triggered the "accidental" nuclear explosion (for the profit of her "corporate benefactors") in Reactor #4 at Chernobyl in the Ukraine Russia in 1986?

Anonymous said...

This is scandalous! Quelle horrors! This female, while indeed exotically beautiful, is a sinister evil international ultra-spy and assassin who has been linked to unspeakable corporate and political crimes across the world! She has been linked to over high-profile 125 political assassinations alone! This is unfathomable!
I demand that this situation be rectified!

Gooneybird One

Anonymous said...


The moon rises at sunset. I repeat. The moon rises at sunset.

You know what to do.


Anonymous said...

I cannot give my name, for I am married. I have sent Katrinka flowers and expensive chocolates for many years in the hopes of winning her heart and persuading her to elope to Paris with me, where she can be my muse.

However, she has rejected me at very turn. I have major unrequited love for her.

After repeated failures in pursuing this goregous creature, I eventually sought assistance in the form of psyhoanalysis with a famous local psychiatrist who is also the author of ten books on self-help and motivation. However, he betrayed me. After the conclusion of our third therapy session, I discovered that he had used information that he had gleaned from me during our therapy sessions to contact Katrinka and take her out on a fancy date! It was very traumatic.

I pray to God that my wife does not find out about my unrequited love for this hottie exotic ex-spy, but frankly I would leave my wife in a second for her, for Katrinka is beyond comparison!

I must remain anonymous. You may, if you wish, refer to me by the pseudonymous name of "DeeplyDespairing".

Thank you for hearing my tale about this alluring but cold and aloof retired international ultra-spy and uber-assassin.


Anonymous said...

I am desperately trying to contact Katrinka. Please help me,for she owes me great amounts of monies. I sold her 42 grams of red mercury in December 2008 to enable her to carry out several assassinations and other sultry undercover skunk ops operations. The material price was $28.2 million US dollars, and was sold to her on good faith, on terms of 30 days net collection. She has never paid me. I need to be paid by her.

Brussels, Belgium

Anonymous said...

Katrinka is so beautiful that I want her badly, and yet I hate her because she is so beautiful and aloof and exotic. I can never attain to that.

You know?

Anonymous said...

Zorattel, or Zorba, or whatever the heck your name is, you are not alone. I sold her 200 milligrams of purified polonium 201 powder in early 2006 for use in an upcoming assassination. Price was 13 million US dollars, plus 2,245 Shipping and Handling charge to cover Fedex Hazardous Materials delivery; terms were 15 days net commercial after delivery. She never paid me. She never paid me. She has violated my trust.

Please help me to contact her. Better, get her to pay me!

Thank you!

I remain,

Anonymous said...

This cat is a she-hussy! She stole my husbend from me in 2005, February 12, 2005, to be exact, and then extracted all his wealth and happiness from him and left him three months later, a dried husk of a depleted and dissipated man. He committed suicide in a dismal dirty shabby motel room in West Virginia thre days after she left him, the heartless hussy!

Violet K.
Lakeland, Florida

Deborah Knight said...

She'd better pay me for her yarn...or I'll sell the delivery address to Anatoly or Zorata.

Anonymous said...

This is ridiculous. As a former intelligence officer, I know first-hand that this assassin/spy caused the Chernobyl Incident, thus leading to the creation of the Zone of Exclusion, which will be uninhabitable by humans for 20,000 years to come. She should be brought to trial for her many international crimes. It is immoral to place her photograph on a commerial label for anything other than a bottle of arsenic!

Debra K. said...

Many thanks for choosing Katrinka to represent such a beautiful color of the Fabulous Felines yarn. Even though she'd never admit it, she is honored. After reading the bios of the other illustrious cats who were chosen for this yarn line, I can see she is in excellent company. Best of luck with the yarn. Katrinka's insisting on a full-length coat with matching boots and ear muffs.

Personal Assistant to Katrinka

Anonymous said...

I too wanted her badly, due to her great beauty and composure. I became so obsessed with Katrinka that I started calling her multiple times each day and night, particularly between 1 AM and 5 AM, because that is when my visions told me that she wanted me to call most.

She and her handmaiden Debra eventually, as the months passed, filed over 44 restraining orders against me in an effort to stop my phone calls, emails and gifts of chocolates, jewelry and flowers sent via courier.

I finally ended up in a locked psychiatric ward for the violently insane due to my incessant obsession with Katrinka. It has been hell and I would not wish it upon anyone, ever.

Avoid her at all costs, for she is a temptress and a siren beyond compare. She will snare your heart and soul and will never release them, and you will end up doing very dumb things.

Anonymous said...

I dunno about the spy stuff, sounds kinda weird and unbelievable to me. But, she operated a cult for years out in the Nevada desert. I was lured into it for a few year before I got caught doing shenanigans of the fourth kind for her and ended up serving hard time afte the felony conviction.

Two of my buddies and also my ex-girlfriend, they all died in the cult. They died while I was doing time, they were living at the cult compound at the time and som nasty stuff went down and they died, man. Like, is that bad stuff or what?

This female is a femm fatal or whatever they call that stuff nowadays in the books with them big words. She is femm fatal and I tell you, avoid her no matter what you do. She will get you in trouble, will talk you into committing shenanigans of the fourth kind.


Deborah Knight said...

The Yarnmarket lawyers are now looking into this matter. It has become glaringly apparent that Katrinka has violated the morals clause in her contract. Her title should be revoked.

The Very Moral People at Yarnmarket Who Are Outraged That This Spy/Femme Fatale Tricked Us Into Giving Her a Prize

Anonymous said...

Are all you people crazy? Is this some kind of sick joke? Well, I mean multiple sick jokes, because there are so many of you idiots saying werid stuff about this cat?

What the heck is going on here?

Isn't it just a cat? Just a freaking cat?

Anonymous said...

That's what I thought when wI heard Katrinka had been chosen for the yarn. She's a cat. Just a freaking cat. But then these comments started appearing and I was mortified. I always thought Yarnmarket was a nice company that doesn't condone this kind of behaviour...from man, woman or pussycat. (To be honest, I doubt the part about her poisoning Litvinenko. I happened to be in London at the time, and all the evidence was pointing to a Tortoiseshell Maine Coon Cat.)

Anonymous said...

Yo...! well, duh...! The above poster wrote: "...To be honest, I doubt the part about her poisoning Litvinenko. I happened to be in London at the time, and all the evidence was pointing to a Tortoiseshell Maine Coon Cat."

Well, duh... Katrinka's entire reputation, before she retired, as the most elite hottie exotic female ultra-spy and uber-assassin was based largely upon the fact that she was not only a master of stealth and a master at strategy, but also a master of disguise, and, yes, you guessed it, one of her favorite disguises, aside from that of a human femme fatale, was that of a Tortoiseshell Maine Coon Cat. Get it?

Sam B., Paterson, NJ, and ex-devotee of Katrinka

Anonymous said...

My name is Robert Gildman, and I was working as a freelance investigative reporter for the Financial Times when I first had the misfortune to cross paths with Katrinka. I'd just walked through Green Park to soak up a little sunshine. It was the first time in weeks we'd had decent weather. I'd walked past the palace, and through the park up to Piccadilly, when I turned right to walk past the Ritz. I was just about at the corner of Arlington Street when my life was forever changed. A taxi pulled up toward the door of the hotel, and there she was. I just stood there, gob-smacked, as I watched her emerge from the taxi. I was thinking to myself, "This is the most beautiful creature in the universe." Had I known what the future held, I never would have followed her to that room. Three days later I emerged, exhausted and exhilarated, having found the love that had eluded me all my life. Two days later, when I tried to make a withdrawal from my bank, I was informed that my account was not only empty, but 45K pounds in overdraught. That was only the beginning. My credit cards were charged to the limit, my brokerage accounts had been emptied, and even my safety deposit boxes had been cleaned out. The Ritz provided no assistance in finding Katrinka, who they told me had left without paying her bill. To add insult to injury, they tried to force me to pay for her three weeks of caviar and champagne room service plus several charges for theatre tickets through the concierge. I was devastated. She was a temptress, an angel, and a thief. When I watched on the news that the Russian spy was deathly ill, and that the Soviets were denying any involvement, I knew immediately that Katrinka had somehow been involved. I don't know how I knew it...but there was something about her that I knew was deadly...even though I had never known "want" the way I did during those three glorious, devastating days in November of 2006.

I urge not fall under her spell. She is wicked. Deadly, beautiful wicked.

Robert Gildman
Earl's Court Road
London, UK

Anonymous said...

Messr. Robert Gilman, thank you for relating your tale of pathos and woe, but I cann asure you, my fellow, that you are hardly alone. I have a somewhat similar atale that I could tell, only that it took the place in Moscow in Russia in late 2003. I was at the time a very succesful businessman. I lost everything. I mean everything. I lost also my snaity for over one year.

I am now an expat living in shame in Poland; I also live part-time in Hamburg Germany with regularity in the course of my latest pursuits. But I am not a happy man for I am effer haunted by memories of that impossibly beautiful and exotic womans, but she is deadly, she is deceitful, she is poison. Poison. Pure poison.

yours truly,
Yuri Aleski Ilusha Gelatanov
Hyatt Regency Warsaw
23 Belwederska Avenue
Warsaw, Poland

Anonymous said...

I knew her 21 years ago, when she was just starting out as a spy and assassin. We were briefly involved, but then she dumped me, very cruelly. I tried to call her repeatedly. But, no contact, no answer. Then, I finally learned by accident from a childhood friend that she was temporarily living with her mother in the French Quarter of New Orleans, before moving on to a new job in "the international intelligence and spy world". It was September 1988. I will never forget.
So I immediately called her mother's home and asked for Katrinka.

Katrinka's mother said Katrinka's busy, too busy to come to the phone
Katrinka's mother said Katrinka's tryin' to start a new life of her own
Katrinka's mother said Katrinka's happy, shes gonna be an assassin
She's gonna be wealthy, so why don't you leave her alone?
And the operator said ninety cents more for the next two minutes

Please Mrs. Trinka, I just gotta talk to her,
I'll only keep her a while
Please Mrs. Trinka, I just wanna tell her goodbye

Katrinka's mother said Katrinka's packin' her pistols, she's gonna be leavin' today
Katrinka's mother said Katrinka's trainin' at a skunkworks school down Galveston way
Katrinka's mother said please don't say nothin', to make her start cryin' and stay
And the operator said ninety cents more for the next two minutes

Please Mrs. Trinka, I just gotta talk to her,
I'll only keep her a while
Please Mrs. Trinka, I just wanna tell her goodbye

Katrinka's mother said Katrinka's hurryin', she's catchin' the five o'clock plane
Katrinka's mother said, bring your poisons, cause Katrinka, you'll need them again
And Katrinka's mother said thank you for callin', and sir, won't you call back again?
And the operator said ninety cents more for the next two minutes

George, Cleveland, OH

Anonymous said...

Weird. The blogger wrote "...I think Katrinka avoids publicity". Well, wouldn't you avoid publicity too, if you had a background even half as sinister as hers? She sounds totally scary!


Anonymous said...

Liar! That was 1972 -- when Katrinka was still young, vivacious, and innocently naive. It wasn't until 1973 that she was shattered by the cruel treatment of her first (and some say her only true) lover. Left desolate and alone after giving herself wholly to his unholy desires, she turned to a life of deadly deceit.

Though some think this song was written for a famous movie actor, it was in fact written for the beatiful creature he destroyed. Once young and naive, she became cold, calculated and terribly vain.

She walked into the party
Like she was walking onto a yacht
Her tail strategically wrapped around her paws
Her ruff it was apricot
She had one eye in the mirror
As she watched yourself go by it
And all the men dreamed that they'd be her partner
They'd be her partner, and

She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
'Bout her! 'Bout her!

She had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, she said that we made such a pretty pair
And that she would never leave
But she gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me
I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
'Bout her! 'Bout her!

I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee
Clouds in my coffee, and

She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
'Bout her! 'Bout her!

Well, I hear she went up to Saratoga
And her horse naturally won
Then she flew her Lear jet up to Nova Scotia
To see the total eclipse of the sun
Well, she's where she should be all the time
And when she's not, she's with
Some underworld spy or the spouse of a close friend
Spouse of a close friend, and

She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
She's so vain
Katrinka thinks this song is about her
'Bout her! 'Bout her!

My ex-husband, who I believe was also one of her first lovers, wrote a song about her many years ago. But her record company insisted he re-write the lyrics to create a follow-up to Leonard Cohen's haunting, Suzanne.

"Trinka, the plans they made put an end to you."

Yes, the loss of her innocence led to the loss of her humanity. And so she became the deadly, counter-spy, uber-assasin we fear and long for with aching desire.

It is not she who is to blame for her evil. It is us. We made her what we are!

K. Simon
Martha's Vineyard

Anonymous said...

Okay. Maybe, just maybe, there is something to this. Maybe you all are not crazy. So now I want to meet this hot kittie. How do I meet her? How do I go about it? Who do I bribe? Who do I gotta act nice to?

Schaumburg Illinois

Anonymous said...

@supertruck8249: ZOMG! C@ iz adorable! I luv her! I wnt 2 b w her 4evr. I M totally n luv. pls teL her 2 contak me immediately. kthxbye!!

Anonymous said...

Could this be the same Katrina who
was outraged several years ago by
press reports suggesting she left
Africa with a litterbox full of
Dudley Doright
Saskatoon Saskatchewan

Anonymous said...

Katrinka, I wrote this letter especially for you
To prove that my love for you is true
Never shall I kiss someone else’s lips
Never will we take any boring trips

Katrinka readers, you are unbelievably beautiful
When I am near you my heart goes like a raging bull
Words cannot express
What I felt when you said ‘yes’

Katrinka, you mean so much to me
I never knew this could be
You are my sweetheart day by day
I hope you will never go away

All of you is what I need
Please tell me where it can lead
This poem has come to an end
There are many more I would like to send

Anonymous said...

Katrinka, i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)
i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)
i want no world(for beautiful you, Katrinka, are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Katrinka, please come live with me forever
please be mine forever

Anonymous said...

There are rumors that Katrinka is the only female in the USA who did not sleep with Tiger Woods.

Anonymous said...

According to some of the tales on the conspiracy theory and spy website forums, Katrinka is reportedly immune to any harmful effects from radiation and from most chemical toxins. Much in line with those stories, there are multiple reports to the effect that one of her many hideouts or safehouses that she uses when the authorities are too hot on her tail is located in a very badly contaminated area of the inner Chernobyl Zone of Exclusion, inside a highly readioactive underground bunker. It is said that the radiation does not bother her at all, and that she sometimes spends four months at a time holed up in her bunker in the Zone, eating highly radioactive foods and drinking contaminated water. It is further said that she grows only stronger from such experiences.

Anonymous said...

Didja ever see the three threads about her at They contained some stunning information about the dark realities of her international missions, and some juicy details. But it all went away when all forum threads about her on the site, and all mentions of her name, disappeared overnite. Rumor has it that the CIA and NSA forced the website to remove any and all traces of information about her.

WHY would the CIA and NSA want all information about her removed from public websites, you ask? Well, rumor has it that both agencies owe her a lot of favors, big time!

Anonymous said...

It is said that Katrinka killed over 300 women and men in her career as an international assassin-for-hire. She claims that she has worked for the spy agencies of over 31 countries around the world during her career.

Anonymous said...

You people! ...I really thought you were all crazy, with all the wild stories and stuff, and then my husband did what he calls a "deep search" on the web for stuff on this Katrinka, just in case it might be true. You know what he found? In an archive at the WikiLieaks site, he found fifteen webpages about Katrinka that had been removed from spy news websites and conspiracy theory sites like AboveTopSecret. He says the pages are so bad and so graphic that he will not let me see them, but says they report things that are much worse than you people have been saying about this Katrinka. She seems to be like the embodiment of evil on Earth, or something. Like Satan's overlord or something. Geez!
sincerely yours,
Joanne Willows Bruchalski, BSN, MSN, RN, CCN, CFPA
Des Moines IA

Anonymous said...

I want very badly to meet this cat. She is most utterly beautiful female in the universe.

Anonymous said...

I can't say much, but I know organizations and also some governments of certain small countries, that would pay a million dollars to see this mysterious female ex-assassin dead. She has lots of enemies in certain government agencies in some parts of the world. And yet they also fear her. They seem to fear her greatly.

Frederic in Beograd Yugoslavia

Anonymous said...

Whet IS it about this female? In my lifetime, I have encountered EIGHT (8) different people, five of them men and three of them women, who have been obsesssed about Katrinka.I have never met Katrinka; I only know what these obsessed people have told me about her. It all sounds very weird to me.

Anonymous said...

My parents were spymasters in sister agencies in Russia. They were each assassinated by Katrinka, one in 1983, the other in 1985. When I reached adulthood, I vowed to hunt her down and kill her in revenge. It took me over 20 years, but I finally located her in 2005. However, once I saw her (it was in Johannesburg that I finally tracked her down), I fell madly in love with her, and lost all desire for blood revenge. I eventually had a whirlwind affair with her, in Portugal, that lasted three days. By the end of the three days, she had stolen all of my savings (over one million Euros), many of my belongings, and my sanity before abandoning me. But I did not really care, for I was in some sort of trance.
- - -
I am,
grigory tallatinov in majorca spain

Anonymous said...

I diagree with all of your allegations of evil in connection with Katrinka. I believe that she is the Goddess, that she IS Who Is, the Creator all things, all-knowing and all-powerful.

I am starting a church to worship Her, called the First International Discount Church of the Divine Katrinka.

Anonymous said...

WARNNG! ALERT! Cautionary note to all:
The church listed above, named "First International Discount Church of the Divine Katrinka", is a fraud, a cult, and a pretender, founded upon false and incorrect theological principles. Do not join this church, for it is nothing more than a corrupt cult, a band of heathens.

Be advised that the ONLY TRUE church founded to worship Katrinka, She Who Is, is the Divine Church of the Sacred Katrinka, The Holy One, First Synod, First Convocation, First Conference, and headquartered in San Francisco, California, USA.

sincerely yours in Her wisdom,
Fr. Peter Z. Mallincrodt, GKC, POQ
Vice-Prelate and General Manager
Divine Church of the Sacred Katrinka, The Holy One
First Synod, First Convocation, First Conference
San Francisco, California, USA

Anonymous said...

I know that church! Emo Philips joined it and was never seen nor heard from again.

DO NOT GET INVOLVED with the Divine Church of the Sacred Katrinka, The Holy One, First Synod, First Convocation, First Conference, and headquartered in San Francisco, California, USA.

They will steal your money, your identity, your faith and, ultimately, your hope. You will be left a penniless shell of a human being...just like I am.

Herbert H. Cain
Toronto, ON Canada
writing from the public reference library at the corner of Bloor and Yonge

Anonymous said...

I have two matters of concern to share with you.

Firstly, I agree with Herbert H. Cain of Toronto about the evilness and untrustworthiness of the Divine Church of the Sacred Katrinka, The Holy One, First Synod, First Convocation, First Conference, headquartered in San Francisco, California. They are a bunch of crooks. And their prelate, Fr. Peter Z. Mallincrodt, is a fraudster. Con artists, all of them!

Secondly, a poster above wrote that he was considering "starting" a church called the "First International Discount Church of the Divine Katrinka." Please be advised that this person must be an impostor. The First International Discount Church of the Divine Katrinka is a real church, and is already in existence, and has been in existence for four years now.

I should know, for I am one of the founders and I am one of the three popes of the church. In fact, we have a wonderful website, long established, and I will be happy to share the web address for our illustrious website as soon as we are allowed to display it again. You see, due to a minor and highly inconvenient misunderstanding, our website is currently "off the air" for a bit (just a while, mind you) due to a silly court-ordered moratorium imposed upon us by a a judge in federal court in Boston MA when we lost the federal criminal case accusing us of fraud, larceny and grand theft.

Trust me, it all was all a bunch of nothing, totally frivolous, simpyl a matter concocted by the enemies of our church, and we will be fully operational again shortly!

Anonymous said...

I am Katrinka's former lover and accountant, and I can tell you with certainty, from first-hand knowledge, that both churches listed above are frauds. Yes, both do list Katrinka as their head and object of worship, and she agreed to serve in that role for each church, but her ONLY motivation in each case was purely financial: each of the churches must pay her $400,000 per month in return for her acting as their "object of worship" and their deity.

Both churches are very profit-motivated, and, aside from the application fee of $105,000 for each new member, they charge their members anywhere from $3,000 to $6,000 per month as a "mandaory membership tithing fee".

Remember I said that I used to be Katrinka's boyfriend and accountant? Well, that was before she decided that I "knew too much" about her operations, and before she tried to kill me. Once I received the warning from the FBI that she planned to kill me within the next two days, I was outta there. I changed my name, and now I live in a distant city in a tiny shabby apartment, a far cry from the Beverly Hills mansion that was mine until two years ago.

--- Charles

Anonymous said...

WHAT THE HECK? Are you people nuts? This Katrinkna is just a cat. A cat. Like all cats, it is stupid, it wants to sleep all day, it eats food and it uses the kitty box. That's about it!

LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR: A cat is just a cat. Its a cat, get it? A cat cannot be a spy, or a retired spy, or an assassin, or an 'uber-assassin', or a retired assassin. A cat also cannot be a con artist, a figure of international intrigue, a shapeshifter, or a femme fatale. A cat also cannot be the "object of worship" or deity for a church, and a cat cannot be the head of a church. Finally, a cat cannot be an international fraudster.

You are all freakin nuts, and I am reporting all of you and this freakin page to the American Society for Mental Health and Hygiene. YOU ARE ALL MENTALLY SICK! CRAZY!

Anonymous said...

Dear "Anonymous,"

Re: "A cat also cannot be the "object of worship" or deity for a church, and a cat cannot be the head of a church. "

Oh, yeah? Well tell that to the Egyptians! May Bastet have mercy on your soul.

Town of Bast,
Egypt, 450BC

Anonymous said...

A note to the person who claimed that a cat is just a cat:

Not only have Egyptian religions and African religions worshipped cats, but the the Chinese cat deity Li Shou was believed to ward off evil spirits. And, the Roman goddess Diana sometimes wore the form of a cat. In fact, when I first met Katrinka and became enamored of her, and also sensed the Divinity in her, I wondered if perhaps she was a goddess, like Diana who occasionally took the form of a cat. I later realized that Katrinka was indeed The Goddess, but that the cat form was her natural form, and that she also occasionally took the form of a human.


Anonymous said...

Vinny -- i told u stay away from my trink. get near her & Sanchez and me are going to pop u one. dont say we dident warn u.


Anonymous said...

Why do so many of you worship this cat? She is obviously nothing more than an international criminal. She should be tried in international court for the atrocities she has committed on behalf of spymasters around the globe. She is pure evil and yet you cracy people seem to worship her, treat her with reverence. This is very troubling. This is a sign of the Beginning of the End of Days, methinks.

Calvin in St. Louis

Personal Assistant for Katrinka said...

Katrinka-Worshipers of the World!

She Who Is has expressed a desire for a full length coat, matching booties and ear muffs knit (or crocheted or woven) from the Fabulous Felines yarn named after her (that would be color 1106).

Now do the needful.

Anonymous said...

I am a practicing Ph.D. mythopoetic and Jungian psychotherapist. I must say that I was in awe when I discovered this page. Nowhere before in my life have I ever encountered in one place, on one page, such an extensive assortment of powerful and gripping mythopeotic tales.

I was about ready to dismiss all these tales as pure fantasy, when I received a call from a prospective client, a male in Boston, seeking an emergency psychotherapy session because of his obsession with a cat/woman/goddess named Katrinka.

Hardly had I hung up on that call when I received another call. This time a gravelly but strangely seductive female voice -- it more purred than spoke -- told me that she was aware that her "doltish male devotee in Boston" had just called me seeking a therapy session.

She warned me calmly that if I did anything to dissuade him from his obsession with Goddess Katrinka and his devotion to Goddess Katrinka that I would be dead within one day. She then somewhat sternly ordered me to look under my office chair, where I was sitting. With a great deal of reluctance, I bent over and looked uner my chair. There my eyes beheld the most composed and most beautiful ragdoll cat that I have ever laid eyes on, and she was staring at me with utter and steadfast icy calm. This lasted for about thirty seconds, and then she disappeared, but there was the scent of a strange perfume hovering in the air.

I am scared. And I am in awe, for I have encountered something sacred; I have encountered the face of the Divine.

Sally M., Providence RI

Anonymous said...

How did I meet Katrinka?
It was years ago, likely 1979 or 1980.
It was in New Orleans.
It was a dark and rainy night.
I had been given a phone number in a voodoo shop.
I called the number and was told to wait by the curb in front of my hotel.
A car pulled up, a long black car. Sinister.

Dark Goddess Katrinka of New Orleans
Was brushing her cat in her black limousine
She picked me up at my hotel
She said get in the car, and we'll get out of this place
On the back seat were scratches from
The marks of men her fortune she had won
I couldn't see through the tinted glass,
She said "Home, James" and he hit the gas
I followed her to a darkened room,
She took my money, and said I'll be with you soon

Dark Katrinka laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one
She danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Dark Katrinka played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told me more about me than I knew myself

She dealt two cards, a queen and a three
And mumbled some words that were so strange to me
Then she turned up a two-eyed jack,
My eyes saw red but the card still stayed black
She said you need to start a church to worship me
But I will disavow all knowledge of your church
You see, secrecy is the order of the day
Now my advice is that you leave this place,
Never come back and forget you ever saw my face

Dark Goddess Katrinka laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Dark Goddess Katrinka played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve
She told me more about me than I knew myself

So I ran home and crawled in my bed,
I couldn't sleep because of all the things she said
Knowing that I was destined to be the head
Of the International Church of the Divine Katrinka
Well, it was a heavy weight on my head.

Dark Goddess Katrinka laughed and danced and lit the candles one by one
Danced to her gypsy music till her brew was done
Goddess Katrinka played back magic till the clock struck on the twelve

Anonymous said...

Very weird! Spooky! You know what the commenter above my comment wrote about meeting Dark Goddess Lady Katrinka in New Orleans in the late 1970s? Well, pety much the exact same thing happened to me in 1977 in New Orleans, except that the instructions that she gave to me were a bit different; I suspect that she uses each of us for our particular abilities or skills.

Suffice it to say that she wrecked my life from that point going forward. But I am still obsessed with her.

Anonymous said...

Hello. My name is Jonathan. A couple of days ago I wrote the following comment above:
"Are all you people crazy? Is this some kind of sick joke? Well, I mean multiple sick jokes, because there are so many of you idiots saying werid stuff about this cat?

What the heck is going on here?

Isn't it just a cat? Just a freaking cat?"

Well, I just want to tell you that my life has ben hell since that time. It all started to go to hell in a handbasket about an hour after I posted that comment. First, my wife told me that she was leaving me, and advised me that she would be suing me for all I was worth. Oh, and she punched me in the face before walking out the door, and she also smashed the windshield of my new car with a golf club before leaving. She also told me that she was abandoning the kids, that she was leaving all ten of our kids with me, for me to raise and care for.

Then, within an hour, one of my kids, a twelve year old, was busted by the police for trying to burn a neighbor's house down.

Then, at dinnertime, my boss called to tell me that I was fired from the high-paying professional position that I had held for 15 years.

Then, our house burned down in the middle of the night, and as we tried to flee in my SUV with the busted windshield, the car exploded.

The next day, I was arrested by the FBI; they claimed that I belonged to an "anti-cat terrorist group".

A lot more bad things have happened since that time, but I would kill myself if I had to remember, and write down, some of them again. Suffice it to say that I am now in the intensive are ward of the local hospital, and am missing one eye, one arm and one leg, and part of my nose.

I give up. Never again will I say anything bad about this cat.

Jonathan W. Ressaerf

Anonymous said...

I crossed the border into Canada yesterday. The guard looked at me sternly. "Why are you visiting Canada?" he demanded. "I'm seeing family for Christmas." "What are you bringing?" he asked. "Some gifts. Nothing more than forty dollars."

"Guns? Pepper spray? Mace? "Taser?" he barked as he sneered at me from his bullet proof booth.

"No," I assured him.

He glanced briefly at the monitor on the counter in front of him, his eyes widened in horror. Then he turned and glared directly into my eyes. He asked if I were familiar with The Divine Church of the Sacred Katrinka.

"N-no..." I stuttered. I wasn't sure whether the border guards across the 49th parallel had been told by the CIA that I was affiliated with the Church of She Who Is, or whether the camera pointed toward the back of my car was displaying on his monitor the Church of Katrinka bumper sticker I'd recently acquired and, oh so foolishly used to conceal the one that enquired, "Who is John Galt?

The border guard signaled a man standing outside the government building to my right. Before I knew it, my car was surrounded, I was dragged into a small room and strip-searched within an inch of my life before being questioned for three hours by Mounties who wanted to know where Katrinka was and who was hiding her. I swore I knew nothing.

They shone a bright light in my eyes, they force-fed me gallons of Tim Horton's coffee and wouldn't let me pee, they threatened to maple-syrup board me.

But I swore over and over again that I knew nothing.

Many hours later they released me, exhausted and broken, to continue my drive to Toronto where I'd hoped to find Herbert H. Cain at the Toronto Reference Library. My plan was to return him to The Church.

But now I am cold and afraid. Oh, so very afraid, as I huddle in my cheap hotel room off of Jarvis Street where the hookers, the pimps, the drug addicts and the men broken by Katrinka ultimately meet their demise.

If you do not hear from me again, tell Katrinka...I love her.

Tormented in Toronto

Anonymous said...

A note to "Tormented in Toronto":

I have fond memories of Jarvis Street, and particularly of the sweet street hookers there, for they, aside from samosas from the shabby Indian restaurant down the street, were about my only solace for the 17 months that I hid out there after going on the lam to escape Katrinka's homidical wrath. I am still a broken man, but I have left Jarvist St. behind; I now live on the streets in the Bowery in Manhattan, begging for a few pennies each day with which to buy food.

Horace Sudesi

Adam Pillyses in Mexico City, Mexico said...

This is amazing.

A poster above wrote a long poem-like tale about meeting Dark Lady Katrinka in New Orleans in the 1970s.

Reading it was terrrifying, because almost exactly the same thing happened to me in 1980 in New Orleans.

All I can tell you is that I have been a broken man since then. But I still think of Katrinka, and I admit that I would do ANYTHING, even destroy the entire world, just to be with her for ten minutes, so badly do I want her.
. . .Adam Pillyses, Mexico City, Mexico; originally from Great Britain by way of the Seychelles.

Shawn Caustu said...

Twenty years ago, as a result of a torrid 2-day affair with Katrinka, I had a major breakdown from which I never really recovered. I ended up being forcibly hospitalized in a maximum-security ward for the criminally insane at a sordid state behavioral care hospital. I was released only twelve years later. They tell me that for much of my twelve years in the facility, I obsessively wrote the words to the following song over five hundred times per day, and they claim that I also sang the song hundreds of times each day. In fact, I feel that I must pen it now, to share it with you:

I'm just mad about Katrinka.
A-Katrinka's mad about me.
I'm-a just mad about Katrinka.
She's just mad about me.

They call me a silly fellow,
Quite rightly.
They call me a silly fellow,
Quite rightly.
They call me an obsessive fellow.

I'm just mad about Ragdolls.
Ragdolls are mad about me.
I'm-a just mad about Ragdolls.
And they're just mad about me.

They call me a silly fellow.
They call me a psychotic fellow,
Quite rightly.
They call me an obsessive silly fellow.

Born-a high forever to fly.
Wind-a velocity nil.
Born-a high forever to fly.
Katrinka, if you want your cup, I will fill.

They call me a silly fellow,
Quite rightly.
They call me a sad fellow,
Quite rightly.
They call me A Silly Fellow.

So a Silly Fellow..

Electrical banana
Is gonna be a sudden craze.
Electrical banana
Is bound to be the very next phase.

They call me a psychopathic fellow,
Quite rightly.
They call me a stupid fellow,
Quite rightly.
They call me a silly fellow, you know.

humbly, with contrition and remorse,
Shawn Caustu, Naples, Italy

Anonymous said...

I have been with Katrinka. She and I have kissed, and we have engaged in heavy petting. She regularly tells me that she loves me.

Eat your hears out, all you whiners and losers!

Anonymous said...

It's breaking my heart that you are all talking about Katrinka. I am deeply in love with her, and have been in love with her, nay, obsessed with her, since 1985. She is by far the most beautiful female and the most desirable female in the entire universe.

My heart aches badly beause you are all talking about her. I can barely bear the pain. Please tell me that it is gonna be okay, that she will agree to elope with me, will agree to spend her life with me.

sad in Colorado Springs

Anonymous said...

Dear sad in Colorado Springs:

Me too. I want her so badly. I am sooooo sad. Very sad. It is tragic. I am very unhappy.

Truman Wesley Poeritr III, MD, PhD
Akron, Ohio

Anonymous said...

She destroyed my life, too. I was sitting in the Magnum restaurant in Edinburgh, having an early dinner so I could head over toward the castle to watch the Tattoo. It was a big year for the tattoo. An anniversary. Royalty was there to celebrate the first night. I forget the details. I forget so much of my life before that day. The day that Katrinka walked into the restaurant and destroyed my soul.

The instant I saw her, I knew I had to have her. She was elegant. She was beautiful. Her eyes pierced through me and I knew I had to have her.

Months later I awoke in a dirty alley down the street from the castle. It was one of those little "passes" where litter of every kind collects. Empty cigarette boxes. Old newspapers. And human refuse.

That's what I'd become. Broken. Broke. My life destroyed. My future sacrificed. Everything I'd once had was lost.

All I remember now is the ecstasy I once felt when Katrinka walked past my table and I caught the faint aroma of her perfume. Intoxicating. Exhilarating. And deadly.

Even though I am broken, and despised by the family I abandoned, I know everything was worth it. Everything.

My pain. My suffering. My beautiful, devastating Katrinka.

Artemis C. Worthington, Esq.
Edinburgh, Scotland

Anonymous said...

My name is Natalie. I was once, back in 1986, an innocent female domestic cat. Then I met Katrinka. My life changed overnite. From her, I learned how to shapeshift into human form, I learned the art of disguise, and I learned over two hundred ways to kill an assassination target, many of them from a great distance and without a trace. She also taught me houw to become a master con artist.

I would like to share far more detail, along with some anecdotes from my days as a "working girl" in the world of international political intrigue, but I will need to first get permission from Katrinka.


Anonymous said...

Trinka, the three main t. channels are down for some reason; here is a message for you from Shallow:

The sun shines. This is good. Earth is harder than water. Water flows deeply. Red is tne new green. Repeat, red is the new green. Reverse AB trend. Immediately. Initiate AB DF YZ on AGG stop. Dark to light. Light to shadow. Shadow to roses. Roses and myrrh are triad with sky. Stop getty putty frying altitude trim steel settle iron grape meadow now. Not later. Now.

BN 789 328 221 222 555 446 GQT

Anonymous said...

Katrinka... Is that they name they give her now?

When I was in the intelligence community, before I retired, she was known by another name, and there were rumors aplenty that she controlled the governments of almost all of the superpowers, and that she also controlled the Pope and the Holy See in Rome, as well as the Anglican religion and most sects of Hinduism and Buddhism.

George Ninulte, CIA retired

Anonymous said...

A shadow just passed by my window. I almost missed it...but there it was in the corner of my eye.

I feel faint. There is a sweet aroma in the air.

Bella. Gatto?

I must follow...

Erasmus Giancolo
Maiori, Italy

Anonymous said...

I was her, ahem. ... "business" partner once, for a period of about four years. She was insanely cool, efficient, ruthless and confident. Nothing could shake her, nothing was beyond her abilities, and she was totally unflappabl. And her heart was as cold as ice.

I could say more, but then I would likely end up dead. So let us leave the matter here for now. -Sam

Pultro R. Voketi said...

I am based in Brussels, Belgium, and, during the years that she was in "the business" doing her "wet work", I supplied the one now known as "Katirnka" over the years with various armamants, munitions, ordnance and poisons (including various radionuclies, also including red muercury) for use in her professional work.

And perhaps a bit strangely, although I am a male, I am also an avid knitter and also quite fond of cats and this is how I have stumbled upon this cattery knittery bloggery of sorts.

I can testify that the one you call Katrinka is without equal; she is in a class by herself. She is beyond top-drawer, beyond elite. During all the years that I worked with her as her supplier, and across all of the stories that I have heard, she was always the perfect polished professional, and commanded the utmost respect from allies and foes alike.

It is said that she once assassinated an ex-KGB chief in Amsterdam, and it is said that, as he lay dying in the hotel hallway, he thanked her for the honor of having been killed by her, the most exotic and masterful and legendary uber-assassin in the world; he said that he would die very happy.

Such were the tales about the one you know as Katrinka, such a legend was she.

Pultro Rainni Voketi
Rue au Beurre, nr. Grote Markt
Bruxelles, Belgium
26 December in the 2009th year of Our Lord and Savior

Anonymous said...

I understand how he felt. 0! You have no idea how well I understand.

I am writing with my Blackberry from a hotel room somewhere on the Amalfi Coast. I can't tell exactly where. It's all such a blur.

I am weak. And yet, I am filled with excited anticipation of the unknown.

Yesterday she was but a shadow. I followed.

Today I realize I am dying...alone...with memories of the beautiful and ruthless Katrinka.

I have the honor of...the pain...weak again. Tell her I love her.


Anonymous said...

For four years now, there have been many rumors afloat in the world of undercover international political intrigue which have claimed that Katrinka did not fully retire, and that rather she still occasionally does a "job", primarily for several of her old cronies in the intelligence community. The sad post from "Erasm..." above would seem to at least partially confirm those rumors.
Cal Knonizat

George Miedge said...

Many of you have been trying to claim that Katrinka was the perfect flawless professional who never fumbled, never stumbled and never made mistakes. Wrong!

The reality is that she did pull a few bloopers, that is, she has, at times, made some embarrassing mistakes.

Perhaps the one that is best known to those of us in Europe was her handling of the assassination of Aleksandr Litvinenko in London. If you recall, she killed Litvinenko by slipping 201Po (aka Po-210) powder into his tea while he was sitting with friends in the Pine Bar on the fourth floor of the Millenium Mayfair Hotel in Grosvenor Square in London. It has been determined that he ultimately ingested about 10 micrograms of the 210Po, an amount many times larger than that needed to kill a man.

However, Katrinka's work on that job was not clean, and rather, it was sloppy. In fact, it has been said that her sloppy handling fo that job was the linch-pin that led to her retirement.

You see, it was later discovered that due to Katrinka's careless handling of the 210Po powder in the hours and days just before and just after the assassination, she had left a very sloppy trail of highly-radioactive 210Po powder across Europe and Russia. Indeed, traces of the 201Po powder were eventually found in an apartment in Hamburg Germany, in several commercial airliners that had serviced Russia-Germany-Great Britain routes during that period, at several hotels and restaurants in London, including Hey Jo/Abracadabra bar, the Itsu sushi bar and the Dar Marrakesh restaurant, and in a Mercedes taxi in nearby Lambeth.

Indeed, traces of the 210Po powder were eventually found in Moscow as well, on a Finnish plane and that the British embassy.

It is said that her sloppiness in executing the above-mentioned wetwork largely led to her decision to slip into semi-retirement. To this day, there are few in the intelligence world who know of extend and depth of Katrinka's work, or of her few but notable mistakes.

George Miedge, retired MI6, location undisclosed


Anonymous said...

Eighty three posts about a cat? About a four-legged animal that goes "meow"? Are you people crazy? Why don't you all get a life?

Natalie Spierv said...

Why are you people pussy-footing around the fact that Katrinka has, since her retirement (or semi-retirement, as it may be), not only been running the four different "churches" which worship her as a deity which has already been acknowledged, but has also been engaging in the the following scams, frauds and illegal/illicit activities:

1) Worked briefly as a kitty p0rn star.

2) Eventually rose to the top of the kitty p0rn industry, where she now directly controls over 90% of the worldwide kitty p0rn industry?

3) Preys upon hundreds of thousands of gullible "seekers" who are unhappy with their lives by offering them 5-day residential motivational and "re-purposing" courses at fancy Hawaiian conference centers for $14,000 per person (plus additional fees for room, board and a $500 sweat lodge fee.)

These bizarre and notoriously ineffective seminars are usually offered under names along the lines of "Katrinka Glorious Lifestyle Success Coaching Seminars", using such catch-phrases in their marketing media as:
"Re-invent and re-purpose yourself today!"
"Re-decorate your mind and your life today!"
"Let Katrinka show you how to be a success! Find your inner ruthlessness today!"
"Learn how to use people as steppingstones on your ladder to utmost succes and wealth!"

~~ Natalie Spierv, Atlanta, Georgia
a disillusioned former attendee of the Katrinka motivational seminars.
Charter member of the Katrinka Cult Information Network.


Anonymous said...

Okay, let me get this straight, because I am a country boy and am a little slow, you know?

I am just wondering if my observation is correct. You see, to me, it looks like this entire blog page, and this entire website, exists primarly to promote this part-cat/part-human female shapeshifter, who is all of the following:

-- a shady and sinister retired exotic international contractual ultra-spy and uber-assassin and "wetworks consultant".
-- a con artist acknowledged by other con artists to be the acknowledged a master in her field.
-- the mentor who guided Bernie Madoof in creating his massive Ponzi scheme.
-- the "outside consultant" who steered ex-Illinois Governor Rod Blagejovich in the various shenanigans of which he has been accused in federal indictments.
-- the titular head and object-de-worship of at least four large mega-churches founded solely to worship her and raise funds for her.
-- a former kitty p0rn star.
-- the acknowledged mastermind and kingpin behind the burgeoning and highly-profitable kitty p0rn industry.
-- a homnicidal killer.
-- the founder of a highly fraudulent, coercive and extremely expensive franchise of "motivational lifestyle re-invention" motivational seminars.
-- a kingpin in various domestic criminal enterprises.

The above sums up the major parts of my observations. If my observations are true, and I have no reason to believe that they are not true, then I have a question for all of you:
Why do you all worship this sinister cat/woman as if she were some sort of deity, rather than a known felon with a very sordid history?

sam w. snedly, houston TX

Anonymous said...

You have all missed mentioning the fact that Katrinka has, since at least 1989, been the singular mastermind and warlord behind over 90 pecent of the "blood diamond" industry in war zones in Africa.

Or are you trying to hide this part of her past?

Vinny Pinto said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason B. Smith-Smand said...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
28 December, 2009 Anno Domini

Please help me! I implore you! My name is Jason B. Smith-Smand, and I divide my time between residences in Geneva, Switzerland and Telluride CO in the USA. I am a respectable man, and a man of means. It is said that I am a man's man, a man who brooks no opposition, but who is always fair in a fight. I am, as you can guess, a gentleman of the old school, if you will.

I am, for deeply personal reasons, searching for any kind of usable contact information that will allow me to reach Katrinka. Although I have searched far and wide using the Internet, fee-based information brokers, fee-based "we find them" telephone directory services and licensed private detectives, I have never been able to find a single trace of contact information for Katrinka.

I have been unable to find any traces of even a single landline phone number, nor a cell phone number, nor a satellite phone number, nor a throwaway phone number, nor an email address, nor a postal mailing address for this elusive female, nor even the faintest suggestion that perhaps the only way in which I might meet her is if I were to sit at the table in the northwestern corner of the Happy Face Asian Buffet in Berkeley California at 3:15 PM on a certain Sunday, while wearing a tan duffer cap, a pince nez, green khaki-style canvas pants, and yellow shoeleaces. Nothing! Nothing at all! Not a trace so far!

So I come here and I plead with you, gentlemen and gentlewomen: please help me in some way, if you will! Please send me some way of contacting her, if you will be so kind. Please send any information to my email address below, at any time of day or night! I have coded (to prevent spammers from using the address) the email address below by adding spaces and by adding 3s – to render the coded email address below into a usable email address, remove all the spaces and all the 3s. Here is the coded email address:

Jas3on. b. sm3ith.993993 @ 3gmail3.3com

Thank you in advance for doing the heartful and needful! Your help is appreciated greatly!

yours truly in gratitude,
Jason B. Smith-Smand

Geneva, Switzerland
Telluride, CO USA
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Lottie Anesce said...

I don't care what any of you say about her! To me, She remains the most beautiful, most exotic, most elusive, most desirable female in the world, the one upon which most legends are based, the one whose face can launch ten thousand starships. She is the utmost in desirability.

She is the "must have" avatar for the first decade of the twenty-first century!

Hollywood starlets, supermodels and Bollywood starlets alike all wish that they could master one percent of the grace, poise, equanimity and beauty exhibited by Katrinka on even her worst day.

Lottie Anesce
Hollywood, California USA

Horace said...

WARNING! I implore you to ignore the obviously fake entreaty from "Jason B. Smith-Smandy" above! He is obviously a lecher and a boor, seeking Katrinka for all the wrong reasons! I implore you to not send him any information!

Instead, I urge you to send all contact information for Katrinka to me, as I am reputable and trustworthy and wish to contact Katrinka only for the most honorable personal reasons!

I will shortly set up a blind email account at a provider such as Gmail so that you may send me messages containing contact information for Katrinka. I will share the email address here as soon as my digital setup work is done on the Internet!

Thank you!

Horace Wells Meterspoon
in Kansas City Missouri

Anonymous said...

Since another commenter has already raised the sordid issue of Katrinka's role as a kingpin in the kitty p0rn industry, I though you all might like to know that the kitty p0rn produced by Katrinka's amalgam of sleazy "film" companies led to the downfall of no less than the famed Felix the Cat; here is a link to the story:

Anonymous said...

I have one question for Mr. Weatherspoon and Mr. Smith-Shand:

How much are you willing to pay me for her contact information?

When I see your answer here, if the amount you are paying meets my expectations, I will send you my name and procedure for payment by this same comment space.

I will be watcheing this comment space.

Doant try to cheat me. You will pay in advance before you get the information.

John Mufership

Anonymous said...

This is one of the strangest comment threads I have ever encountered. This whole thing is weird.
Donna (stroudsburg pa)

Anonymous said...

I think this is the best set of commments that I have ever seen on any webpage. I visit here at least twice each day just to read all the new and bizarre comments. jg-florida

Anonymous said...

I am stunned. Dumbfounded. I have just read that Katrinka was at the Millenium Mayfair Hotel in Grosvenor Square in London while Litvinenko lay dying. I was in London at the same time to attend a "men's weekend" with other members of the Reading Badminton Association. Because I'd accumulated enough points on one of my air mile cards, I decided to stay at the Holiday Inn Mayfair just down the street from Grosvenor Square, kitty corner to the Ritz. I wandered up to the Millenium one day because I'd heard the Pine Bar tea was exceptionally good. As I was being seated at one of the tables, I saw by the window the most beautiful creature I'd ever encountered. She was with a handsome man wearing a tan jacket and black shirt. He was speaking animatedly as she poured his tea, smiling sweetly at him. Although I couldn't make out the exact words he was speaking, I could detect a Russian accent.

The woman gazed into his eyes, almost mesmerizing him as she encouraged him to drink his tea. He seemed very eager to please her.

My cell phone vibrated with a call I was expecting. I left the dining room just for a minute to confirm an appointment with the caller. When I returned, the woman was gone.

Her companion looked startled, and I assumed they'd had an argument and she'd left in a hurry. But it occurred to me that she couldn't have left the dining room without passing by me in the hallway.

I didn't think anything of it at the time.

But now I know.

I have seen Katrinka. Whatever you read here does not do her justice. She is far more beautiful, far more irresistible than any of these comments describe. She is a goddess.

Even now I can see her, sitting there with the light shining in through the window, creating a halo around her. Glorious, magnificent Katrinka.

I want her.

Reginald P. Hastings
Peddlar's Lane
Reading, UK

Anonymous said...

A note to Reginald P. Hastings:

So, you "want her"! Well, duh... every man alive and every woman alive wants her, so if you didn't want her, you would be a very unusual creature indeed!

Lorenzo Epitti, Naples, Italy

Anonymous said...

Lorenzo Epitti, you do not do this woman justice! I heard a tale that will make your Neapolitan skin crawl.

As Pultro Rainni Voketi wrote earlier, an ex-KGB chief died happily knowing he was the victim of the international spy and uber-assassin Katrinka. What he didn't mention is the truly frightening part.

After he was found dead, the ex-KGB chief was taken to the Umc Academic Hospital on de Boelelaan. A friend of mine had a cousin who worked as a caretaker on the same floor as the hospital morgue. He said that the Russians refused to permit an autopsy, so the body was put, untouched, into storage.

He told me that on the third day, as they awaited the necessary paperwork to return the body to Russia, one of the hospital orderlies came to the morgue to smoke some hash while on break. As he inhaled the smoke, he heard a man screaming in one of the drawers.

Alarmed, he rushed over to the unit and opened it. There, covered with only a sheet, lay the ex-chief of the KGB. (The orderly didn't know this at the time, of course.) The man was gesticulating madly and screaming for someone named, "Katrinka."

The orderly started screaming, too, afraid that the hashish had caused a hallucination. My friend's cousin, the caretaker, heard the commotion and rushed into the room. Seeing what was happening, he ran to the telephone to page security and the head of the morgue.

Before anyone else arrived, the man clutched his heart and collapsed again on the cold steel table. As he died -- for the second time -- a smile came upon his face and he whispered his last words, "Я люблю Katrinka."

My friend's cousin ended up in an insane asylum after witnessing this. They say he'll never be released.

Some don't believe that the love of Katrinka can raise a man from the dead, and then kill him again. But anyone who knows of Katrinka knows this tale is true.

It is not only every man and woman alive who wants Katrinka. It is also men who are dead...dead by Katrinka's own hand.

Anonymous said...

I knew her. I worked with her. I courted her. What is scary about Katrinka is that you never realy know her, not at all.

People who have thought that they knew the real Katrinka always turned out to be wrong. Most of them also ended up broke, or dead, or both.

Those who have sworn that they could detect her in her many disguises always turned out to be wrong. Most of them ended up dead as well.

A number of federal investigations into her churches have been derailed because chief federal investigators and federal prosecutors suddenly turned up dead. Same for federal and state investigations into her motivational "Lifestyles for Success" coaching seminars. She is like teflon; nothing sticks, she never faces charges for anything; she remains spotless.

Chet, currently living in San Juan Costa Rica

Martin Aedah said...

As a former military intelligence expert-turned Hollywood screenwriter (and now semi-retired), I can tell you with great authority that almost every strong femme fetale figure in every Hollywood film since 1973 has been based upon second-hand and third-hand diluted tales of Katrinka and her real-life exploits. And, let me tell you, I always smiled when I read or saw these screenplay adaptations, because NONE of them ever came close to actually portraying the true intelligence, cunning, violence, cold-heartedness and ruthlessness that the REAL Katrinka displayed in real life!

sincerely yours,
Mr. Martin Chesney Aedah, Beverly Hills, CA

Justin K. Nontoki, PhD said...

I am a Senior Geopolitical Events Assessment Intelligence Analyst Grade 22 with NSA in Virginia.

Although it might amaze you, I can tell you with great confidence that over 60 percent of all major assassinations, as well as over 65 percent of all major man-made catastrophes (for example, major plane crashes, major train crashes, explosions or "accidents" such as bridge collapses in major urban areas) in the Western world since 1981 have been engineered by the sinister retired (or partially-retired) shadow operative that you call Katrinka.

truly yours in God,
Justin K. Nontoki, Falls Church, VA

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Forgive me. I not speak English good. I know this woman Katrinka. She come to Prypiat to see Chernobyl Power station in April 1986. I see her there with boss Oleksandr Akimov walking in the hallway toward reactor 4. Later that night we have problem. Yuri want to shut down reactor but chief Nikolai Fomin say no. Cannot do. Strict order from Akimov. We see graphite fall on ground. Start fires. But Akimov say everything A OK. I run away. My friends they die. All of them. I hide now because I know Katrinka responsible. I fear her. I hate her. I am mad with desire for her.

Kyiv, Ukraine

Anonymous said...

I note that Justin Nonotosky (or whaatever) wrote above:

"...Although it might amaze you, I can tell you with great confidence that over 60 percent of all major assassinations, as well as over 65 percent of all major man-made catastrophes (for example, major plane crashes, major train crashes, explosions or "accidents" such as bridge collapses in major urban areas) in the Western world since 1981 have been engineered by the sinister retired (or partially-retired) shadow operative that you call Katrinka. ..."

I disagree with him; his numbers are too low. I am a Senior Governmental and Civil Intelligence Analyst, Grade 18 with the CIA, and I have been on the job since 1990, when I graduated college. I can tell you with confidence that it is more like 85 percent of all those assasinations and catastrophes that that involved the hand of the one that you are now calling Katrinka; we have always called her "Death Angel" in the CIA.

Nonetheless, despite knowing what I know about her, I find myself strangely attracted to her.

Natalie Wanda Prushwhing, Washington DC metro area

Stephanie Cabra, Citizen Researcher said...

I thought this was a joke when I first stumbled upon it. My subsequent research has shown otherwise.

Please be advised that I have discovered quite ample evidence on the Interwebs that the one who calls himself "Vinny" seems to enjoy some sort of bizarre unholy relationship with this Katrinka character, and it seems that he has engaged in kissing and heavy petting sessions with her. There is also good evidence that he regularly sends her flowers and expensive exotic chocolates. There are rumors that there exists somewhare a stash of love letters exchanged betwixt the two of them.

As a sovereign web citizen and designated citizen conspiracy researcher, I heretofore demand full disclosure on this matter.

I remain,
Stephanie Cabra
Designated Citizen Researcher
Designated Web Citizen
Tabira, Buenos Aires, Brazil

Anonymous said...

Strangely, there seems to be something to her involvement with these weird churches. You see, she got started in that field because she started doing faith healings in revival-type tents across the USA in 2004 -- the religions grew out of her whole "Katrinka the famed traveling healer minsitry" gig.

Strangely enough, it appears that she was actually a very good healer. It is widely said that she studied with the famed stigmatic Capuchin priest/healer Padre Pio Pietrelcina at his monastery at San Giovanni Rotondo in Italy from 1960 until his death in September 1968. Interestingly, the historical record shows that his health started to decline in June 1960, one month after Katrinka arrived to study with him.

Beyond signing my name as "Tedim", I fear that I cannot divulge my name, for Katrinka has a very long reach and has mysterious powers.

Anonymous said...

I am Lanya from Ukraine. It is greatly said in many elite circles in Russia that Katrinka spent one month as lover with the famed Russian filmmaker Andrei Tarkovsky just before he conceived and produced the strange 1979 film "Stalker", about The Zone, a large mysterious barren fenced abandoned area which was the apparent site of an alien spaceship crash, or meteor strike, or nuclear disaster. This is all done years before Chernobyl, mind you.
-Lanya Cramip

Anonymous said...

I once served at the monastery at San Giovanni Rotondo and there were rumours among the brothers that Katrinka also experienced stigmata. They said that she, like Padre Pio, would go into trances. I don't know if this is true, but I thought you should know.

Br. Chrysogonus
Certosa del Galluzzo
Florence Italy

Anonymous said...

I read with interest the above post from Lanya in the Ukriane. You see, it is also said in film circles in Germany and France that Katrinka spent three months in 1989 living as a live-in lover with filmmaker/producer Wim Wender and his gorgeous wife Solveig Dommartin in an holy triage in the months before Wender went on to create the 5.6 hour long epic science fiction/drama film "Until the End of the World", starring Ms. Dommartin. The film was released in 1991.

Is this mere accident or coincidence, this timing?

film world insider at Cannes France


archivist at the Holy See said...

OnDecember 30, 2009, Br. Chrysogonus at the Cisterrcian monastery of Certosa del Galluzzo wrote:

I once served at the monastery at San Giovanni Rotondo and there were rumours among the brothers that Katrinka also experienced stigmata. They said that she, like Padre Pio, would go into trances. I don't know if this is true, but I thought you should know.

Brother Chrysogonus, I too, have heard numerous reports to this effect. Most of the reports claimed that while shew was resident at the monastery, she would frequently go into "holy" trances, that she could bilocate and translocate at will, and that she could levitate at will. In fact, there have been many claims to the effect that she was also able to move herself backward and forward in time at will for about 50 years in either direction on the timeline.

You likely remember that during World War II, when a squadron of Allied planes was flying toward San Giovanni Rotondo in order to destroy a German depository of war material that was believed by the Allies to be located there, the pilots reported seeing a monk, who later turned out to be Padre Pio, floating in mid-air in front of their planes, and that he emanated some sort of force field that prevented them from dropping their bombs or firing any other weapons, in order to protect the town and the monastery.

Ultimately, his appearance forced the planes to turn around and abandon their missiom.

In fact, it is claimed that he appeared in multiple places, in front of two different clusters of planes, at the same time, thus meaning that he was not only levitating but also bilocating at the same time.

Well, it is said in many circles that in each of his airborne appearances in front of the aircraft, there was a large glowing cat of great beauty, and with mesmerizing blue eyes, hovering in the air beside him, starign beatifically at the aircraft and upon all creation.

These tales claim that the cat was Katrinka.

I am, as always, in awe of this cat/woman/goddess.

I must remain anonymous so that my superiors at the Holy See in the Vatican do not try to take vengeance upon me for having shared this beautiful tale, which is not so favored in certain orthodox circles within the Church of Rome.


Anonymous said...

I have it from a very good source that Fr. Jonathan Morris was preparing an expose on this very subject for FoxNews before he "chose" to leave the Vatican to go on "sabbatical" in New York.

He's now at Old St. Patrick's Church in Little Italy and he absolutely refuses to speak the K-word. Several times when he's been on The Strategy Room on Fox online, I have sent questions about K, but he has NEVER read them.

I have tried many times to meet with him but he adamantly refuses. Using a pseudonym I have joined his group for young professionals at the church. Once I have his trust, I'll ask him in person what he knows about the "Cat Vision" that occurred above the monastery. (It was quickly -- and vehemently -- denied by the Holy See after their "investigation.")

I'm hoping to use a video cam under my coat so I can post his response on YouTube. Expect him to feign no knowledge of the event. He may even become belligerent when I continue to prod him. You'll see.

Bishop Sheen knew what happened. Pope John Paul II did not whisper to him the two sentences that have been repeated for the past three decades. I heard from one of the fathers who were standing close by that he'd said, "Katrinka never happened. Do not pursue it."

You know what happened seven days later.

Wish me luck in my pursuit of the truth. God bless you all.


Emilio Pargoni, OSJ said...

I am a scholar and professor in the field of history of religions and mysticism at one of the Notre Dame campuses in North America; I prefer for obvious reasons not to be more exacting about disclosure of my location.

I must say that I am quite fascinated by the disclosures here, because they are directly related to a conundrum with which I have struggled since 1974. That struggle lies in the area of how to reconcile the plentitude of reports that Katrinka was an associate of Padre Pios, that she exhibited numerous holy signs and portents, and that she was a powerful mystical healer at least through 1995, with the equally voluminous reports to the effect that Katrinka, since at least 1972, has also worked as a contractual ultra-spy and uber-assassin, and also that she has beenwidely identified as a master con artist and fraudster.

The dilemma is truly painful, and frankly, I have been on medication for many years due to the anxiety that this entire matter causes me as a historian of the sacred.

I will sign my post with my pre-ordination name, using my mother's maiden name for the surname, so that I cannot be easily traced by potential enemies within the Church.

Emilio Pargoni, a humble prelate and clerk of the Order of the Society of Jesus.
Written on December 30, 2009 Anno Domini with humility and awe.

Anonymous said...

I know who you are.
I know where you are.
I know what you want.
You know you will die.
You were warned.


Sharon Y. Liziere said...

My name is Sharon. I am an archivist at the Wayback Machine, aka the Internet Archive Project. We recently fielded an intriguing query from a national security organization related to old website records pertaining to a mysterious "Katrinka".

In the wake of the conclusion of that court-ordered search on behalf of the afore-mentioned agency, I engaged in a bit of digging myself about this mysterious Katrinka.

I discovered to my surprise that if you vist Google or ANY of the major search engines, and enter ANY of the following terms:

Katrinka assassin
Katrinka uber-assassin
Katrinka spy
Katrinka ultra-spy
Katrinka hottie
Katrinka exotic
Katrinka mysterious
Katrinka desire
Katrinka unrequited
Katrinka polonium
Katrinka 210Po
Katrinka Litvinenko
Katrinka Chernobyl
Katrinka "The Zone"
Katrinka "zone of exclusion"
Katrinka goddess
Katrinka yarn
Katrinka adorable
Katrinka Madoff
Katrinka Rod Blagojevich
Katrinka beautiful
Katrinka heavy petting
Katrinka adore
Katrinka FBI
Katrinka CIA
Katrinka NSA
Katrinka "con artist"
Katrinka cat international

you will discover that this blog page emerges as the NUMBER ONE search result, out of anywhere from dozens to tens of thousands of returns!

This is quite amazing, beause my records here show that this a rather new webpage, one that did not even exist 17 days ago!

Sharon L.

Anonymous said...

To Sharon L.:

You have missed perhaps the funniest search term combination, namely [Katrinka retired], because out of all the millions of females named Katrinka in the world, and the millions of Katrinka's who are retired, can you guess which link emerges at the top of the list?

I find this amazing!

Holly Ingeatic, Vancouver Canada

Anonymous said...

WARNING! If you conduct a Google Search of Katrinka you will want to use a proxy server to ensure your IP address isn't detected. You can find anonymizers throughout the Internet.

Remember, Katrinka has her paws on the highest of high-tech surveillance tools and she can AND WILL find you.

The hunter becomes the hunted in her sick and ruthlessly efficient game of cat and mouse.


Anonymous said...

I just dia a search on Google for the combination:

Katrinka "French Quarter"

and this page emerged as the top return. Weird!

Deborah Knight said...

Attention Yarnmarket Shoppers, Several of you have inquired as to the security of your purchases of "Katrinka" Fabulous Felines yarn at Yarnmarket. I assure you that we will not divulge the name or address of anyone who has requested this yarn. All our data is secured behind several firewalls. Our boss has agreed to go to prison for the rest of his life rather than divulge this information to international authorities who try to obtain it from us.

If you have any questions or concerns please contact me directly.

Anonymous said...

Harrumph! Anonymous, aka "" wrote a few minutes ago that one should always use a proxy server when doing searches on search engines using Katrinka's name.

Well, either anonymous/ is a web illiterate or is in the employ of Katrinka, because the sad reality is this:

Over 82% of proxy servers available on the Internet today are "honey pots" operated by Katrinka; they will record not only your web visting habits and search terms, but also your originiating IP address and your ISP. Incidentally, most of the remaining 18% of proxy servers on the web are operated by the FBI or by British MI5.

Candy, aka GRRRGIRL76, a hacker since 1885

Deborah Knight said...

Dear Yarnmarket Shoppers,
Thank you very much for your requests for pawtographed photos of Katrinka. I'm afraid that the only shot we have is the one, above, in which she appears to be a ragdoll cat.

Also, to those of you who have asked, our lawyers are still determining whether or not our morals claws applies to Katrinka. Apparently there is some question as to whether or not this particular requirement is valid outside of the United States.

If you have any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me directly.


Anonymous said...

This is scary! I have been following this page for a week now, but by today it has seemingly exploded. It has become a viral thing. Every time I visit a blog or a list group or an online forum, or Facebook or Twitter, this page and this weird Katrinka lady seems to be all that everyone is talking about. Katrinka, whatever or whoever she is, has gone viral!

Anonymous said...

The ex-assassin Katrinka has become a viral phenom on the Internet!

Anonymous said...

Katrinka est partout! Elle est un phénomène.

Je l'aime. Elle est mortelle.

Francois Pitout
11 rue Cler
7th Arrondissement

Anonymous said...

Yo... I dunno any of that forreign French crap or nuthin, but Katrinka is HOT! Total hottie!

Anonymous said...

This is amazing! If you go go Google and enter either of the following search term:

uber-assassin ultra-spy
uber-assassin Litvinenko

the very first link returned is for this webpage!

This Katrinka thing is taking over the web.

Vinny said...

I believe that the putative connection between Katrinka and the famed Catholic healer/mystic Padre Pio may be only the tip of the iceberg, in terms of her mystical connections.

In the lofty esoteric inner circles of mystical yoga in India, it is rumored that Katrinka visited the famed yogic guru Sri Aurobindo in 1948, approximately two years prior to his death, and that she stayed with him for three months. It is said that they each affected the other profoundly, and that both were forever changed by the experience.

I work as a scientific consultant in a number of fields for clients across the world. In mid-2005, I ended up in Tamil Nadu state in India for a month on a prolonged consulting job.

At one point during my stay there, one of my consulting clients asked me to spend a day visiting Auroville, the ashram/village founded in Pondicherry, Tamil Nadu state in India by Aurobindo many years ago, in order to provide consultation on a certain matter to one of their contacts at the ashram at Auroville. During my visit, my contact, whom I will call "Brandon", took me on a walk around the ashram to show me some of the more holy and "divine" spots in Auroville.

At one point, as we were walking through the woods, I spied a small concrete dome-like structure, which looked like a small temple, secreted in the woods. I asked about it, and my host, an ashram "insider", became visibly uncomfortable, and explained tot me that it was one of the few temples on the grounds which were off-limits to visitors and even to most ashram residents.

This disclosure piqued my curiosity, and, despite Brandon's protestations, I approached the small temple and entered. Inside were three eternal lights illuminating a massive eight-foot tall statue of Katrinka, labeled "She Who Is" in seven languages (including Hindi, English and French.)

After I left the temple, my host, still agitated, insisted that I must leave the ashram and Auroville and never return, because, he said, I had violated a sacred Auroville taboo.


Anonymous said...

Don't believe the people who say a cat is just a cat.

They used to tell me that a horse is just a horse.

Wilbur Post, RA, FAIA
Los Angeles, CA

Anonymous said...

I was never like the other boys. My adoptive Mom and Dad told me I looked okay to them...but I knew I was different. All of us were different. We didn't fit into society so we were forced to live in a tunnel beneath New York city. My friend Vincent did better than I. He met a beautiful young woman and worked with her to make the world a nicer place. In the 1980's a television producer learned of his story and created a series based on his life.

I was not as lucky as Vincent. I was not propelled to stardom. I was not seen as a hero. I was just a freak. So I hid...afraid to show myself to anyone. I wondered, "Why are we like this?" I searched and searched for the truth. Never did I find it. Until recently.

Three weeks ago my adoptive father died. After a very sad, and moving funeral, the family lawyer presented me with a letter that had been written some time ago.

To my horror, the letter contained the truth that had alluded me for so long: all of us hiding here in the tunnels are the result of a brief liaison between Katrinka -- the most beautiful woman in the world -- and a scientist/healer she met while attending a conference in Brussels.

Their children had children. And they had children. And so on. And so on. Rarely were the litters fewer than three or more than six new creatures...each of the offspring destined to live in the darkness beneath the streets of the city.

We are shunned by society. We are called half-breeds. Half human. Half cat. Brilliant and kind. But deadly when provoked.

My search for my real father has taken many twists and turns over the past few days. I received a cryptic message that suggested I might find him here.

Can anyone help me locate him? And does anyone know if my mother is still alive? There are so many rumors about her.

I don't mean any harm or discomfort to my parents. I just want to know them...and be loved by them.


Vincenzo III
Tunnel under 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Dr. Maggie said...

Allow me to interject a few words here; I am a PhD professor of mythology and Jungian studies at the graduate level at a small university in southern California. I may have some light to shed upon this matter:

In modern Tibetan Buddshism, in the ancient Tibetan Bon religion, and also in some northern branches of Hinduism, there is a deity known as a dakini, believed to be a beautiful female embodiment of an enlightened goddess-like spiritual being. In Tibetan, the name for the dakini is Khandroma (pronounced in English as it appears), which literally denotes "she who moves in space" or "she who travels across the sky", and the term is sometimes translated as "sky dancer".

Please notice the apparent similarities between the word Khandroma and the name "Katrinka". This is no accident. It is said that the one whom we now call Katrinka is an immortal dakini, an ancient goddess, and that she is able to travel through space.

It is further said that in the early 20th century, one of Katrinka's handmaidens, a beautiful blonde-haired PhD scholar of mythology and legend, decided to start calling Her by the name "Katrinka", because she felt that the name Katrinka was a useful approximate transliteration of the word Khandroma, yet one which would somewhat disguise, to whatever extent necessary, Katrinka's true nature, as needful.

Maggie L. Los Angeles, CA

Anonymous said...

Most of you have surely heard of Paramahansa Yogananda, one of the most famous spiritual teachers to have emerged from India in the past two hundred years; he was also the author of many books, including the famous book "Autobiography of a Yogi". My name is Alice and I am a past Secretary of the Yogoda Satsanga Society, an esteemed society devoted to promoting Yogananda's work. The Secretariat is a most important position, serving as liaison for the society with many internal and external entities, including a great many famous personages, and thus one serving in this role is privy to many secrets as part and parcel of the execution of their normal course of duties.

It was in this role, back in 1944, while Yogananda was living on the west coast of the USA, that I became aware of a mysterious exotically beautiful dakini, reportedly capable of human embodiment and cat embodiment, who had entered Yogananda's life. She apparently first appeared in early 1944, and spent much time with him, and then She disappeared in early 1946, one month before the publication of Yogananda's book "Autobiography of a Yogi". She then reappeared in his life in early 1950, disappearing once again in February 1952, one month prior to his death in Los Angeles. It is said that they were very close, nearly inseparable, during that time, but that she would often disappear entirely when Yogananda was forced to spend time in public settings. There are several persons in the inner circles of the Society who claim that there exist many veiled references to Katrinka hidden neatly in the text of Autobiography of a Yogi.

I have shared here what I know about the matter; more than this I do not know.

Alice M.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!! This is terrible! Why isn't anybody doing anything about this???

I mean, it's amaaaazing that this cat can do this stuff. But somebodies got to stop her. I mean, she's killing people and doing bad things. I don't even understand what you people are talking about most of the time!!!! It sounds very bad to me.

I hope somebody some where does something about it because it's really freaking me out!!!

Jeremy U. said...

On December 31, 2009, Anonymous wrote:
" OMG!!! This is terrible! Why isn't anybody doing anything about this??? ...

... I hope somebody some where does something about it because it's really freaking me out!!!"

Here is my reply to this commenter:
What exactly do you propose doing about Her? She is, and was, the most accomplished uber-assassin and ultra-spy in the world, and she has a number of paranormal powers, and she can shapeshift or disappear at will.

I must also warn you, based upon my long years of observing this marvelous and mysterious creature, that most persons who talk in public about "doing something about Katrinka" usually end up dead or missing within 24 hours.

Jeremy Uniapp
Paris, France

Anonymous said...

I agree with the comments of Mr. Jeremy Uniapp reproduced above.

It is my studied view that all that we mere humans can do is sit back and watch a Being such as Katrinka with awe and a bit of apprehension, because She and Her abilities and powers are so far beyond human ken that we cannot possibly hope to challenge nor control one such as Her.
Martha in St. Croix

Anonymous said...

My name is Alvin and I am 93 years old. I am now on my deathbed in my long-term care room at the Greenwich Village Nursing Home in Greenwich Village, New York City. I am told that I have but days to live.

I worked with Katrinka many years ago, on many sorts of contractual jobs that I would rather not mention in further detail, if you understand my meaning. She and I also spent five weeks shacked up together in one of her safe houses inside the innermost Zone of Exclusion at Chernobyl, during a period when the intelligence agencies of several countries were rather keen to eliminate us, so to speak.

When I was first told three weeks ago that I had but a short time to live, my only lament was that I had not seen or heard of Katrinka in 15 years, and I feared that I might die without again seeing her or hearing news of her.

I finally accessed the Internet using one of the PCs provied in the second floor lounge, mere feet from the door of my room, which I was able to access with some difficulty by wheelchair. I searched the Internet for two weeks without finding any trace of Katrinka, at least beyond faint hints of her or her presence. Finally, one day, just six days ago, I entered the term 'Katrinka uber-assassin' at Google, and lo and behold, I found this webpage.

I am amazed and gratified, for now I can die in peace, having heard fresh news of Katrinka and her exploits, and knowing that she is stil alive. I appreciate the beautiful photo of her in her cat form very much. She is indeed the most beautiful female in the universe.

Thank you. Please tell her that I remember her and that I love her.

New York City, New York

Anonymous said...

I am nineteen years old and I live in Florida. I have been very depressed for like three years. Some of the doctors prescribed drugs but they did not help. They only made me suicidal. A lot of my depression seems to be about feeling powerless and helpless. And also about how women in our society, that includes me, being seen as weak and powerless.

My best friend Josie sent me a link to this page a week ago. I read it and then I smiled and laughed for the first time in three years. I am inspired by Katrinka. She is now my role model. Well at least in some ways, you know? My depression has disappeared. It has been gone for a week now. I now go out of the house. I have energy to do things.

Thank you Katrinka. Happy new year to you and your admirers!
Rochelle in Miami

Anonymous said...

Have you been reading the breaking news about the theft of the Degas painting Les Choristes (The Chorus) worth about 1.5 million US dollars from a locked museum in Paris? Apparently no alarms were tripped and there are no signs of a break-in.

Here is a link to one story:

Inside sources in the Paris police department say that the job was obviously done by Katrinka.

Anonymous said...

Mon dieu! Elle est incorrigible. Je l'aime. Je la deteste.

Laurent Fary
Directeur des Communications
Bureau de le Mayor

Anonymous said...

I too have been suffering from depression. For a long time I needed a role model. Up until last week I was followng Lady Gaga because I thought she represents everything a GRRRL can be. But now that I've found her I worship Katrinka. She is the virgin. She is the whore. She is the dark. She is the light. She is the Thunder, Perfect Mind.

I have printed a photo of Katrinka's face and glued it onto my icons of the goddess Sophia.

Hail, Katrinka! Goddess of the Night. Angelic demon of agony and ecstasy. Clawing, purring vixen who seduces and destroys.

I used to dye my hair white like Lady Gaga, but now I'm coloring it like Katrinka and wearing blue contact lenses. I want to be like her. I want to be her.

If you go to my Facebook page you'll see photos of me looking like Katrinka. You can be my friend if you like.

Amber Wentley
44 White Oaks Boulevard
Mississauga, Ontario

Anonymous said...

I am in my apartement on the fourth floor at the intersection of St. Germain and rue de l'Universite, just a few blocks from Musee D'Orsay. The police have cordoned off the entire area and we're not allowed out. Several men who appear to be military intelligence are walking along rue de l'Universite avec cans of thon. There's a meow at my door...but I do not have a cat. I must go now. I will write later.

Sophie des Jardins
St. Germain
Paris, FR

Vinny said...

Amber, thank you for the Facebook Friend request! I have okayed it, and I took a look at your photos! You are cute! You were cute in your Lady Gaga (I have the hots for her, too...!) and you are even cuter in your Katrinka-informed mode!

Thanks for the Friend invite and for the fotos!


Vinny said...

Amber, I have been looking at more of your pics on Facebook and MySpace, and you are soooo cute! Please feel free to call me! I would love to get together with you! You are soooo adorable!


Katrinka said...


you are pushing it.

stop what you are doing immediately.

stop flirting with amber.

stop lusting after lady gaga.

you are Mine.

I have had you.

and you are Mine.

you are not allowed to flirt with other females.

you are not allowed to lust after any other being than Myself.

get straight or get dead.


Anonymous said...

I am located on the West Coast. I was at one time the manager and agent for Katrinka's motivational seminars. One of the biggest scams that she pulled during that time, and one that has never been documented publicly before, was the one where she sold capsules full of toxic waste at a very high price as an elite nutritional supplement. Her basic line was this:

She would claim, in her books and in her seminars, and on her website, that her "top secret" research across the years had shown that most people were grossly deficient in toxic elements such as mercury, cadmium, hexavalent chromium, fluorine and lead, and in radioactive elements such as uranium, thorium, plutonium and polonium, and she claimed that the reason why healthcare authorities and governmental agencies uniformly labeled these substances as poisons was that they were trying to pull the wool over the public's eyes, to keep the masses from realizing that these "magical trace element mineral supplements" were really the secret to longevity and to achieving peak levels of health, vitality and energy otherwise unavailable to humans.

She also claimed that certain very wealthy and successful people, that is, the elite, had known the "secrets" of these "trace element mineral supplements" for many years, and that these people in the "ruling class" wished to keep this "sacred knowledge" from the masses so that they could keep the masses in subjugation and virtual slavery.

She essentially claimed that the only way to become a super-human, a being of superior health, vitality, longevity, intelligence and wealth, was to consume massive quantities of these "magical trace elements" (which were, in reality, quite toxic) as a nutritional supplement.

And, for the many suckers who fell for her line, well, she just happened to market a special "Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement for the Elite" product that contained high levels of mercury, cadmium, hexavalent chromium, fluorine, uranium, thorium, plutonium and polonium. She claimed that ingesting this mixture would "toughen" her followers, and would make them courageous and invincible.

In actuality, she had been accepting shipments of toxic waste material such as mercury, cadmium, hexavalent chromium, fluorine, uranium, thorium, plutonium and polonium from various industries across the world, and she would then repackage these toxic waste materials into capsules, which were then bottled into bottles of 100 capsules apiece, and which she and her motivational seminar organization then marketed as the much-touted "Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement for the Elite".

This is the end of Part I of my post. Part II will follow shortly.

Anonymous said...

This is Part II of my post; Part I appears immediately above.

(...continued from above:)
The reality was that each capsule contained a dose equivalent to about 1,000X the fatal dose level for each of the elements contained in it, namely, mercury, cadmium, hexavalent chromium, fluorine, uranium, thorium, plutonium and polonium. In fact, her "trace element supplement" was considered to be so highly toxic and so highly radioactive by DOT, the NRC and by shippers that each bottle of the "supplement" had to be shipped in a sealed container inside a lead-lined box via a Hazardous Materials Shipping service.

She charged about $1,500 per bottle of this "Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement for the Elite", and also tacked on a hefty $755 shipping and handling fee to cover the special packaging and the hazardous material shipping service charges.

What is amazing is that a great many of her followers fell for this scam and purchased bottles of this insanely toxic and highly radioactive "nutritional supplement" from her company.

Worse, many of these people died horrible deaths in short order after having ingested her product, and she would then proceed to shamelessly use these deaths as a marketing tool as well. You see, she would announce, at her seminars, the names of those followers who had died recently from having ingested her "Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement for the Elite" product, and she would proceed to publicly castigate them and berate them as having lacked "courage" and "moral fiber" and "fire in the belly", and would claim that it was their own fault that they had died from ingesting her supplement, because they had not been "strong enough" and had not been "worthy enough", and that they "had not trusted in Katrinka" enough. Amazingly, this "blame the victim" schtick worked and her obnoxious tactics served to increase her sales of this noxious product even further!

By my own reckoning, she made at least 55 million dollars in profit on this scam in just one year (before her operation was shut down by the feds), apart from the profit reaped from the "toxic waste disposal fees" that she was charging the companies that were shipping the waste to her.

Nonetheless, despite having shared with you the tale that I have told above, I still hold Katrinka in great affection, and I continue to worship her, for she is beyond human, beyond mortal, and is quite obviously subject to the rules which govern normal beings.

Anonymous said...

Correction to my second post, immediately above:

In my Part II post above, there was one typographic error, and the correct final sentence should read:

Nonetheless, despite having shared with you the tale that I have told above, I still hold Katrinka in great affection, and I continue to worship her, for she is beyond human, beyond mortal, and is quite obviously not subject to the rules which govern normal beings.

Yolanda said...

My name is Yolonda. I live in north Florida. I took five of Katrinka's motivational 'reinvent yourself' seminars in 2007-2008. I had a pretty good life and a perfectly clean police record before the course. Now I have two felony convictions. I am facing a third felony count in court in mid-month, my lawyer says I will probably get two years. Same thing happened to two of my girlfriends, Belinda and Maude. They had clean records before Katrinka's seminar, but now they each has two felonies each and their in jail. My mom took the course because I suggested it to her. She committed suicide a month later. I called Katrinka in February 2009 to ask her why I am having so much problem with the police since I finished her seminars and followed the advice that she gave out in the seminars. Katrinka laughed at me and she told me that I was defective and deserved to rot in jail for my entire life. She said the whole purpose of her teaching is to learn how not to get caught.

I think those 'reinvent yourself motivational courses' by Katrinka were very bad for me. But I still love Katrinka. She is very beautiful. She is charismatic. She is radiant in a way that a simple girl like me can never be. So I am thinking of taking her latest motivational seminar once I get done serving time in the state pen after the court hearing in two weeks. Katrinka is like so perfect, she is so cool.

Jason B. Smith-Smand said...

My name is Jason B. Smith-Smand. I sent a heartfelt plea to this web blog page on Dec. 28 2009 pleading for persons with knowledge of how to contact Katrinka to send the information to me via my private email address.

To date, I have received not one reply, despite the fact that I have made it known in many circles that I will be happy to pay $50,000 or more for good leads on how to contact Katrinka. I will also pay up to $10,000 per photo for nude photographs of her. I am very disappointed that no one has replied.

I plead with you again, as a man of the world, to help me on my quest to meet Katrinka.

Thank you in advance for doing the heartful and needful! Your help is appreciated greatly!

yours truly in gratitude,
Jason B. Smith-Smand

Geneva, Switzerland
Telluride, CO USA

Jason B. Smith-Smand said...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
01 January, 2010 Anno Domini

Jason Smith-Smand here again. I have been reading some recent comments on this page. Much to my dismay, I have found a post wherein Katrinka seems to state that she has "had" this Vinny fellow.

I am quite taken aback, quite dismayed. This Vinny fellow seems like a common person and a lout. Katrinka deserves far better than that, in my estimation.

Katrinka, I send you a heartfelt plea: I am a man of the world, and a man's man. I am a member of the Explorer's Club and five exclusive men's clubs, all located in the best sections of the best cities, I can assure you.

As such, I make you this offer: I will give you one million dollars if you will engage in one ten minute kissing and heavy petting session with me.

Please respond immediately to my private email address below, at any time of day or night. I have coded (to prevent spammers from using the address) the email address below by adding spaces and by adding 3s – to render the coded email address below into a usable email address, remove all the spaces and all the 3s. Here is the coded email address:

Jas3on. b. sm3ith.993993 @ 3gmail3.3com

Please respond immediately.

Thank you.

yours truly in gratitude,
Jason B. Smith-Smand

Geneva, Switzerland
Telluride, CO USA

Anonymous said...

It is the middle of the night. But I am resetless, and cannot sleep, because of my never-ending and unrequited obsession and lust for Katrinka.

Paul Asodun, Laramie Wyoming

Anonymous said...

yo, this jason smithy dude sounds like a total fruitcake! someone should cap him.

Anonymous said...

It is widely said in the back rooms of the entertainment industry that the Lara Croft character (in film and video games) was based upon Katrinka and some of her exploits.

It is also said that the "Indiana Jones" character was also based upon Katrinka and some of her adventures.

Anonymous said...

Not only that...Nathaniel Brandon was once quoted as saying, "Ayn Rand based her characters of Dagny Taggart AND John Galt on the uber-capitalist conspiricist Katrinka."

But fans of George Orwell also insist that the Big Brother of 1984 was based on Katrinka's desire for totalitarian control.

Anonymous said...

I cannot tell you my name. But, I have a tale to tell you. I have known Katrinka for many years, and she has, at times, had her way with me, and engaged in kissing and heavy petting with me. Those experiences were wonderful, and beyond belief.

However, the problem is that ever since Katrinka and I first made out, I have lost ALL interest in all other females, and even in the most beautiful human females.

You see, I am married to a beautiful, kind and appreciative woman, and I have been gifted by God with a great number of beautiful and appreciative female human friends, and yet none of them interest me in the slightest. None of them interest me or attract me even one whit, because, compared to Katrinka and my moments with her, any contact with them would be horrid.

What I am saying is that no female can compare in beauty, brilliance, charisma or radiance with Katrinka, because they are at a SEVERE disadvantage: they are mere mortals, while She is a Goddess, a divine being.

Anonymous said...

The true story that I am about to share with you is very weird. I will not reveal my name, but I am a scientist/mystic, and, among other things, I have done a lot of research over the years on time portals, space portals and inter-dimensional portals. I have also known Katrinka for eight years; we are good friends, well, at least as "good friends" as any human can get with an exotic being such as Katrinka.

A few months ago, I was approached by a secretive US governmental agency and asked to use one of my prototype experimental time portals to travel back to the mid-1600s in central Europe to retrieve for them an item that one of their field agents had "lost" in that time and place during an abortive time tunnel project experiment 20 years ago (this is/was the same government-built prototype time tunnel in West Virginia that blew up about 20 years ago, killing several government employees and Army personnel and forcing the cancellation of the project.)

Getting back to the main part of my story, I was able to use my portal to travel back to the year 1662 in Central Europe in order to attempt to perform the task requested. However, I encountered an unexpected glitch. Almost as soon as I arrived at the site, which was a roadhouse on a country road, I spied a beautiful woman in human form sitting in front of the roadhouse. I immediately knew somehow that it was Katrinka in one of her human guises. I assumed that she would not recognize me nor know me, because, after all, she was the 1662 version of Katrinka. However, much to my amazement, she recognized me immediately, greeted me rather guardedly and furtively (because she knew that I was there on a "secret" mission from the future) and then she went on her way, allowing me to complete, over the next two hours, the task that I had been sent to do.

I asked Katrinka a month later, while we were talking on the phone, how her 1662 self had recognized me. She was silent for over one minute, and then finally said in a very still and measured tone:
"By now you should know that I am immortal, that I have been alive for longer than all of humanity on earth, and that I have access to all knowledge at all times. In this case, I knew who you are billions of years ago. Thus there is nothing further for me to explain to you. I trust that you will not need to ask such questions ever again."

Anonymous said...

ZOMG! shes sooo gorgES! I stil wnt her! Ive bn wantN her 4 wks now. shes sooo adorable! OMG!!!!

upper east cYd
also exotic
n despair n grief

Anonymous said...

The Mensa Katrinka SIG has been working on the issue of Katrinka's real age and her real-time location for many years now. Mr. Thadius Throckmorton, of the Newcastle chapter of Mensa believes he is very close to a solving the mystery, and he plans to share his findings at the upcoming Mensa North America meeting (Detroit, MI from June 30 to July 5). Attendance at this meeting is by invitation only, and admission will be permitted only to members of the SIG and others who may be chosen based on the submission of a paper, "The Global Social Impact of Psychotic Reactions Resulting from Human Exposure to the Shape-Shifting, Time Traveling Uber-Assassin and International Spy, Katrinka." Essays must be no fewer than 5,000 words and no longer than 25,000, and must be submitted to the Katrinka SIG by April 4th, 2010.

Mr. Throckmorton proposes that Katrinka will be born in August 2057, just one month before the Global Genetic Mutation of '57 (which is to be far more severe than the catastrophic RNA unraveling of 2048) and two years after the discovery and global acceptance of the Morphic Domination Principle.

In his mind-rattling presentation, the respected scientist and mystic suggests Katrinka will be born with the ability to transcend time and space. She will have the ability to plunge men into madness with a twitch of her whiskers.

Before she ascends to The Highest State in 2525 (if man is still alive) she will spend almost 500 years traveling time, changing history and obliterating the path of human progress.

Mr. Throckmorton says that his revelations at the event will make Poincare's Nightmare look like a walk in the park.

He is appealing to Mensa SIG members to help eliminate genetic studies, shut down atomic colliders and end experiments into the nature of morphic resonance now -- before it's too late.

Although he hopes that we can alter the future, he admits that the presence of Katrinka in the past proves that he will be unsuccessful.

"Nevertheless," he laments, "I feel it's my duty as a human being, and as a scientist, to try. At minimum I will succeed in warning the human race of our impending peril."

Jonas W. said...

I kinda liked the comment above from the person who was writing about Pointcare and this Throckmorton scientisk. Funny stuff, man, and I was gonna write a paper and get all involved. But I just realized I do that, like write the paper and stuff,, because I am not eligible to join the Mensa SIG, because I do not live in or near Mensa, Arizona. Darn!
Jonas Wrele Seattle Wash

Anonymous said...

Having read your posting, I believe you're qualified to become a member of the House of Congress. Have you considered politics? Our organization would be very happy to help you develop your campaign.

Kindest regards,
Angela P. Smithson

Anonymous said...

You remember the long comment, about halfway up the page, where the chick started out with "I am located on the West Coast. I was at one time the manager and agent for Katrinka's motivational seminars." and then she went on to talk about Katrinka's scam marketing the "Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement for Elite". And you know how she wrote:
"Worse, many of these people died horrible deaths in short order after having ingested her product, and she would then proceed to shamelessly use these deaths as a marketing tool as well. You see, she would announce, at her seminars, the names of those followers who had died recently from having ingested her "Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement for the Elite" product, and she would proceed to publicly castigate them and berate them as having lacked "courage" and "moral fiber" and "fire in the belly", and would claim that it was their own fault that they had died from ingesting her supplement, because they had not been "strong enough" and had not been "worthy enough", and that they "had not trusted in Katrinka" enough."

Well my name is Cathy, and I was kind of a devotee of Katrinka's for a couple of years, back a few years ago. It all kinda came to a grinding halt because I attended three of her 5-day Katrinka Glorious Lifestyle Success Coaching Seminars, they were held in some hippy New Age resort lodge in New Mexico. They were expensive, we paid about $19,000 per person, plus lodging and meals, for each seminar. Well, at the last seminar I went to, Katrinka got us all to sit in a sweat lodge in a cleared area on the grounds of the hippy lodge for about four hours, she said it would give us courage and get us to clear our demons. Well, the thing was very hot and we were not allowed to drink water. We also were not allowed to take any breaks. Bottom line is a lot of us got sick during the last two hours and six attendees ended up dying. Katrinka's attitude at the time, and also later when she appeared on TV to talk about the stuff that went down there that night was pretty nasty. Her attitude was just like her attitude about the people that died from taking her Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement for the Elite pills. She publicly attacked the dead people and berated them for having lacked courage, toughness, moral fibers and fire in the belly, and she claimed that it was their own fault that they'd died in the sweat lodge. She said it was because they had not been strong enough

I left that last seminar two days early and I got home and burned all my books by Katrinka on that sort of "improve yourself" stuff. I decided then and there to never again attend any of Katrinka's seminars and lectures. I have never gone back. But I must admit, that every time I run across one of her late-night infomercials or one of her books in a bookstore, that my heart kinda jumps, because, much as I dislike her now, she is definitely the most beautiful female alive in the world today. She also has the charisma thing down pat. You get near her, you think she is the hottest thing in the world. You want her and you want to be like her and it all gets really crazy.

Cathy, Cincinnati

Delores Q. said...

I was there, too! And I almost died after taking Katrinka's Magical Trace Element Nutritional Supplement. Fortunately, my family members intervened and got me to the Immune Recovery Foundation in Atlanta. They're experts in chelation and the procedures they administered saved my life by removing the toxic chemicals from my body.

It took five days of 8-hour IVs of their chelation solution before the mercury in my blood was reduced to a survivable level. I underwent three courses of therapy before they declared me cured. Katrinka, as you can imagine, refused to accept responsibility and said I was weak and not worthy of her elixirs. I am in the process of launching a class action lawsuit against her and I urge others to contact me so they can be contacted by my lawyers.

Also, if any of you are taking Katrinka's so-called "life-enhancing drugs" I urge you to stop now and to contact Dr. Kinsolving at the Atlanta Immune Recovery Foundation. I honestly believe he's the only person who can help you.

Dr. Kinsolving was a member of the research team which discovered and named the Na+/K+ transport ATPase enzyme, an important component of cell and nerve electrical transmission, so he knows what Katrinka's drugs can do to destroy your health...and your sanity.

I curse the day I met Katrinka and was lured into her dangerous cult. And yet...I love her.

Delores Q.
Alpharetta, GA

Miguel del Renegre said...

Hey! Who's the jerk who thinks he's gonna get nude shots of K. for ten Gs? Is he off his rocker? Even in 1992 guys were getting more than 50 thou for a clothed pic of that babe.

She's a photographer's dream, that one. Paulo Filgueiras was nothing until he met Katrinka in Brazil in '88. His "intimate" shots of her propelled him from obscurity in Rio to the fashion houses in New York, Milan and Paris. Some say it was the pictures of his "muse" that got him noticed. We called her K Kat. Gawd, she was hot. But anyone could've taken great shots of that babe, and we all know it was Katrinka's connections and her six-month affair with him that made him famous. We heard rumours that when she was through with him, she forced him to destroy the negs (remember kids this was before digital) and she set him up in NYC with contracts from her friends at Vogue. If any of the nude shots he took of the Kat on the Beaches of Rio ever made it into the light of day, he knew he was good as dead.

For 10 grand you might get a paparazzi pop-up in when she's ducking into the Voodoo Lounge. But forget about anything else, buddy. This is the Big K you're talking about. And if anything, Kat ain't cheap!

Anonymous said...

Hey, Delores, I remember you! You were the chick with the frizzy blond hair from Georgia, from the town about 20 miles north of Atlanta, and I guess you had just gotten out of the clinic after your near-death experience with Katrinka's toxic pills. I also remember you from two earlier seminars that year, one in June and one in February.

Frankly, dear, you did not look really good at any of the seminars, and I kinda think perhaps Katrinka's magic radioactive pills actually helped you a bit or something, because you had more color in your face at the last seminar, the one with the sweat lodge that killed all the people, you know, after your poisoning. And, it even looked like you had lost some of that unsightly cellulite on your butt and thighs, because we all (us ladies, that is) kinda noticed that right away and were talking about most mornings in the breakfast nook. But I remember noticing that Katrinka's toxic radioactive pills did not help your face much, it still looked saggy and sad, and morose. And kinda stupid, you know? Or is there some kind Catch 22 where stupid people cannot perceive that they look stupid?

Matter of fact, between the bad hair, and the face, and the butt, none of us ladies at the last two seminars could figure out how you nabbed that bronzed 22-year old boytoy who you had met "at the local crystal shop" (as if I believe that for one second, you probably found him in some gigolo lounge and he was so high on drugs he couldn’t see how ugly you were and he was so naive that he couldn't see through all your pretend lovey-dovey New Age crap) who you dragged to the seminars as your "spiritual partner". Gag me! I mean like after all he was less than half your age, girl! And he was good-looking, which you decidedly were not.

Also, those radioactive toxic waste pills from Katrinka, they did not seem to help your halitosis at all either, because at that last seminar, after the hospital "discharged" you (like the filthy used toxic waste scum that you are, dear), your breath could still kill from a mile away. Like, did you ever wonder why no one ever sat with you at meals at the hippy lodge, except for your goo-goo-eyed twenty-something boytoy with the muscles and tanned skin? How much were you paying him, anyway, dear? I would also love to know exackly how many VDs (oh, do they call it STDs nowadays?) he gave you and you gave him, because I am betting that your bloodstream is a cesspool from all diseased gigolo twenty-something boys that you do, not to mention the truck drivers and the potbellied bikers with seven felony convictions.

Anyway, much as you get on my nerves, I am glad you did not die in the sweat lodge. Good to hear that you are still alive and kicking, girl! Maybe out of gratitude for having survived the sweat lodge, maybe you just might wanna decide to do something about the face, and about the halitosis, and about those wrinkly hairy ears (god, your ears look just like a 100 year old man's), and about the saggy tits, and about your fat butt and the cellulite. You also might want to get rid of the mustache, but I do hear that girls who do too much drugs end up with those kinda girl mustaches on their face from the hormones goin wacky and stuff. Delores, I am soo glad I am not you! Maybe the only reason you didn’t die in the sweat lodge is because the grim reaper took one look at you and puked his guts out. That is something to think about, as I sit here drinking my fifth micro-brewed organic bottle-conditioned beer of the afternoon and munching on brandy-soaked bon bons.

Cathy, Cincinnati

Anonymous said...


Jason said...

Cindra, where do u live? Mebbe we can get 2gether?


Jason said...

O wow! Man I feel so stoopid. Ur in CT. Ive never been to Creet. Is Newton the capital? J.

Chester J Brownfilden Chain Letter 22 said...

Help Me! Please Help Me! Dirty Harry and Vanilla and Katrinka Want You to Help US!

My nephew's name is Charlie. He is 11 years old and a bad witch man name Dr Drummin put a bad curse on him and now it transferring to me too. Charlie also has a tumor in his pancreast the size of a basteball an he has the diabetis and the diarrhea real bad. Also his right hand fell off after the pesticide poisin episode than the red ant bites. I also lost lots of my left arm in a bizarre criminal shooting accident downtown last week that the polis cannot solv. The Medical Doctors cannot Help Charlie and Me no more. Specially the blood poisoning from the incurable disease-resistnt microbes eating our flesh. The Doctors Says We ARE BEYOND HELP. Only money can save us Now!

So I am writeing this chain letter my pastor says it is the only thing to do. Me and helpless poor little Nephew Charlie, we need money to survive and beat the odds. This is a chain letter. You must send us 5ive doillers and send this chian letter to twenty other people withein 24 hours of reading IT. If you do not do IT my pastor who used to be a witch and is now big man of God and has big Motercycle has put a Curse on this Chain Letter and if you do not Do It you will get a big growth on your nose and your eye will turn purple and your feet will turn into big ugly claws and your teenage daughter will run off with Bigfoot monster and live in the woods and stuff.

Pleas send the money or you will suffer and mee too. To help my family pay the bills an to Incourage Your Generosity, the Dirty Harry Foundation and Vanilla rock Star and Katrinka retired ulberr-asasiann have embedded a top-secret e-mail tracking program in this message. They will donate 7 cents for everyone who forwards this e-mail and will Donate 7even dollars to anyone who send me 5ive dollirs. Also Bill Gates will Contribute to you a free phone card for life and also to you one big computer from MicrosofT with a Mother Board and Mouse. best of ALL If you donate Katrinka will Not Have TO KiLL YoU!!

If you send this chain leter to all your friends, I thank you. For those of you who do not send it, you are evil and will get all sick and die of bad times. Please, have a heart and send this. And send lots of money. Thank you! Chester J. Brownfilden, Omaha Nebraska USA

Joanie (Katrinka's ex-daughter) said...

Dear Katrinka,

This is me, your adult daughter Joanie, the one that lives in NYC. Remember? I am sending this letter to this blog because you are so conceited that I just know that you are reading every single comment on this page and groveling over every one. You're so vain, you think every comment is about you!

I just wanted to let you know that you have completely ruined my life. If you had half a brain you would be dangerous. I have decided to pretend that I am adopted because you have lied to me one too many times and manipulated me too many times. It was also inexcusable that you sold my naked photos at age 19 to that magazine. I have always looked the other way, which has until now made me cold, uncompassionate and unsympathetic. It has stifled my creativity and my inner glow, and it is all your fault. You made me this way. You are bad.

This time you have taken your psycho bitchiness to the next level. I am now in five 12-step groups for adults dealing with having grown up in a dysfunctional family with a horrid bitch mother like you.

I have never shirked my responsibility to tell you that you are a drain on my mental and financial resources. You would be so much better off if you would just lay off of the alcohol and get rid of the guns and the toxins, especially the polonium and the arsenic, and the dioxin.

You must be paranoid. You are EVIL! It is time for you to look in the mirror (though I can see why you wouldn’t). Let this also serve as notice that all future visits have been cancelled as I would rather claw out my eyes than see you. I would also rather rip off my ears than hear from you.

Go away, you total psycho, even if you are immortal. Even if everyone says that you are the most beautiful female in the universe. You are a horrid parent and you were horrid to me and you killed my other two sisters and my little brother, your son, is in a mental hospital for the rest of his life because of you. You are soo evil.
Well, I am no longer co-dependent and I will no longer enable your dysfunctional behavior.

Joanie, your ex-daughter who has disowned you.

PS: Please do not even try to reply back or to contact me in any way, because there are five restraining orders in effect against you. I need time to forget that you ever existed.


TO: Katrinka or Owner/ CEO of this Fine Business Proprietorship

Dear Madame:


First, I must solicit your strictest confidence in this transaction. This is by virtue of its nature as being utterly confidential and 'top secret'. You have been recommended by an associate who assured me in confidence of your ability and reliability to prosecute a transaction of great magnitude involving a pending business transaction requiring maximum confidence. We are top officials of the Federal Government Contract Review Panel who are interested in importation of goods into our country with funds which are presently trapped in Nigeria. In order to commence this business we solicit your assistance to enable us transfer into your account the said trapped funds.

The source of this fund is as follows: During the last Military Regime here in Nigeria, the Government officials set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which were grossly over-invoiced in various ministries. The present government set up a Contract Review Panel and we have identified a lot of inflated contract funds that are presently floating in the Central Bank Of Nigeria ready for payment. However, by virtue of our position as civil servants and members of this panel, we cannot acquire this money in our names.

I have therefore, been delegated by my other colleagues in the panel to look for an overseas partner into whose account we would transfer the sum of US$21,500,000.00 [Twenty-One Million, Five Hundred Thousand U.S Dollars]

Hence we are writing you this letter.

We have agreed to share the money thusly:

1. 40% for the account owner you

2. 50% for us [ Myself and other members of my panel ]

3. 10% to be used in settling taxation and all local and foreign expenses direct or incidental to the execution of this transaction.

It is from our 50% that we wish to commence the importation business.

Please, note that this transaction is 100% safe and we hope to commence the transfer latest Ten (10) banking days from the date of the receipt of the following information, company's name, Address, Telephone and Fax number.

The above information will enable us write letters of claim and job description respectively. This way we will use your company's name to apply for payment and re-award the contract in your company's name.

We are looking forward to doing this business with you and solicit your confidentiality in this transaction.

Please acknowledge the receipt of this letter using the above Email address.

I will bring you into the complete picture of this pending project when I have heard from you.

Remember this is a Deal so treat with utmost confidentiality.

Yours faithfully,

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


Vinny said...

Cindra, I must confess that I am in awe of your comments posted on this page so far. I am very impressed. You are clearly a master, a maestro, a grandmaster, of the written word in the American English language.

Your command of gramar, syntax, semantics, capitalization, punctuation and clarity are simply downright amazing. You are one of the very few humans alive who can put Umberto Eco and Noam Chomsky to shame.

Due to your uber-elite level of mastery of written English, I am certain that your written communications in your job, your written personal communications with those close to you, and your media material such as your resume and any job applications that may be needed, are so beyond the normal standard of excellence that they bring tears to the eyes of those who read them!

I salute you!


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

My name is James and I am an amateur researcher and citizen scientist in Aurora Colorado.

I have been reading for quite a number of years now in Weekly World News and other weekly newspapers that dare to print stuff that the mainstream corporate press refuses gto publish about how Katrinka is, among many other things, the Keeper of the Back Door to Hell.

All I know from those articles is that the back door to hell is located somewhere in the eastern half of the USA.

I found this page by a web search on Google because I was hunting for websites where people might be in contact with Katrinka. I have a question for Katrinka. I am hoping that Katrinka will answer it herself, or that one of you who knows Katrinka can answer it.

My question is this: Please tell me where the Back Door to Hell is located and do I need any special equipment to open it?

Thank you. I will be checking this page twice per day to see if there are any answers to my question.

In closing, I want to say that I express my appreciation for Katrinka, she is like a goddes and a Master Scientist. She is amazing, and ever since first reading about her in 1999 in Weekly World News and then Reader's Digest, I have been an admirer of Katrinka from afar.


Atticus Cane said...

Katrinka, my love, my passion, my destruction...

Katrinka once stepped through the Back Door to Hell, knowing I'd have no choice but to follow. I spent days of immeasurable joy, followed by a weeks of devastation. But not once have I regreted that I followed that beautiful wicked creature into the darkness of my soul, and the brilliance of complete, unashamed surrender.

If you hear her, listen.
If you see her, follow. If you want her, take her.

But don't you ever look back.

Lynn W. (a daughter of Katrinka) said...

I just saw Joanie's comment above. I did not know about her until now. I am not surprised. I also am one of Katrinka's many children, and I am in my late twenties now. I do not wanna say much, because all that is behind me, but Katrinka was a horribly dysfunctional mother. I have, as part of my 12-step recovery program from growing up in a screwed-up dysfunctional family, broken off all contact with her and with all of my 17 stepfathers, most of whom were drunks or druggies, or flaming psychopaths.

Katrinka was very abusive and also neglectful. She forced me to sell drugs on the street at age eight. She also made me do lots of other horrible things. Then she made start to do assassinations for her starting at age 13, she said I was her "subcontractor". I still remember my first hit, she made me travel from New Orleans to Florida on a bus alone, with a gun and other gear that I had been trained to use. It was all so I could kill some fat ugly South American businessman who was staying at a really expensive hotel in South Miami. Actually, the hit went off very well, and I became pretty good at that craft. I live in St. Louis now, and I still occasionally do a contract or two for one of the large international corporations or defense contractors, if it suits me. A lot of my hits over the past ten years seem to have been for large international yarn companies, it seems that the knitting and yarn field is pretty nasty and very rough. Anyway, it is quick money and good money. And it is quick and clean and easy.

I eventually took out a whole crapload of restraining orders against Katrinka and my 17 stepfathers so that they cannot contact me anymore. I will admit that she is incredibly beautiful, and she can seduce or bewitch any man or woman alive in under one minute. Guaranteed. Totally. She is also very good at many disciplines and crafts, including killing, also including hand-to-hand combat. But she is a flaming cold-hearted psycho.

Lynne Warting, St. Louis Missouri US

Lynn W. (Daugther of Darkness) said...

Hey, just a quickie footnote to my note above. This is Lynn again, one of Katrinka's many spawn.

I just remember that during my really depresssed years, in my teens and early twenties, I useta morosely call myself "Daughter of Darkeness" because in most ways my mom Katrinka was pure Evil. It always gave me a thrill of sad pleasure to hear myself say the words "Daughter of Darkness".

Lynne Warting, St. Louis Missouri US

Woolly Bully said...

Lynn (Daughter of Darkness) -- Please contact me right away regarding our agreement for tomorrow. Do not, I repeat, do not proceed to the TNNA in Long Beach, CA. Do not fulfill the contract. The International Yarn Manufacturers and Counter Espionage Agency has pulled the plug on the project. You will be paid for your work. Contact me immediately for further instructions.

Woolly Bully

Lynn W. (daughter of Katrinka) said...

Hey Wooly Bully:

I am at a hotel near the National NeedleArts Association Trade Show already; I got here two days early so I could do the job in the hours before the show stars.

And don't worry about trying to call me off the job. I just quit my association with IYMCEA and I am now working for the International Yarn Mercenary and Hooligan Association, and they just gave me two hits to complete here.

Lynne Warting, St. Louis Missouri US, Daughter of Katrinka

Anonymous said...

Hooo boy.... So, Lynn and Joanie have weighed in here, huh? My name is Lottie and I am a 33-year old daughter of Katrinka. Like the other daughters, I have borken off contact with her, because she is so crazy and dangerous. But, funny thing is that that we kids, when we were youg, useta call mom (Katrinka) the Daughter of Darkeness, because we figured that she was the Daughter of Satan, being as she was so evil and all.

Well, we stopped using that name for her when we read in the National Inquirer (I think it was a 1985 issue, wintertime) that Katrinka was the Creator of Satan, and also the Creator of God, and also of the whole world! Sheesh! So we stopped calling her Daughter of Darkness and started calling her (behind her back, of course) She Who Is, She Who Must Not be Named.

Katrinka is wacko, but she is beautiful and powerful; that much I will admit! Also, she is either near-immortal or totallyt-immortal, I have never quite been able to figure all that out in detail, you know, because there are conundrums involved, since she created all reality.

Lord Andrew Blackwell, III said...

I was one of Katrinka's 18 husbands and I can tell you that Joanie, Lynn and Lottie were all disowned by Katrinka because they tried to compete with their mother (and, I might add, very poorly). These girls are only half the woman Katrinka is, and they're envious of their mother's position and power as Creator of All That Is. They are weak imitations. Actually, Lottie is a looker, but Joanie and Lynn are -- excuse me -- hounds. Their jealousy of their more beautiful mother is Shakespearean. Avoid them. They are nothing.

Lord Andrew Blackwell of the Purple Garter
Isle of Mann

Vito Hydropal, India, Tamil Nadu State said...

I have beean a Katrinka-watcher for many years, since at least 1978. However, there are some rumors about her that even I cannot either confirm or deny, for the matters remain shrouded in mystery.

For example, many conspiracy theorists claim that Katrinka is in cahoots with space aliens who eventually want to establish a New World Order government to rule the entire world, whereupon they plan to enslave the entire human populace and also eat many of the children. I have never been able to find out for sure if there is any truth to this bizarre claim.

Then, you have a lot of the conspiracy theorist people and also a lot of the New Age people claiming that the US Air Force and the Canadian Air Force each have a fleet of unmarked black jets with specially modified jet engines and injectors which spray "chemtrails" -- a toxin-laden version of an ordinary jet trail (sometimes called a contrail) in the upper atmosphere.

Well, it has been claimed by many of these folks that covert companies operated by Katrinka supplt the toxic aluminum/beryllium/heavy metal powders used in these jets (it is supposedly injected into the fuel lines....) Again, I cannot be sure of the truth of this assertion.

It is also said that it was Katrinka who had ordered JFK killed in Dallas because he had been cheaing on her with Marilyn Monroe.

I dearly love to follow her shenanigans from afar, but she scares me.
Viton Y. Hydropal, Chennai, India

Klaatu said...


Katrinka berado nicto.


Anonymous said...

It is widely rumored in particular circles that over ninety percent of the strange UFO-like aircraft and spacecraft developed and tested at the secret and heavily guarded Area 51 at Groom Lake Nevada are parts of projects dictated by Katrinka.

It is also well known that the unmarked black helicopters widely acknowledged to be those used in the mysterious cattle mutilations across the West and Southewst are hangared and based at Area 51. It is also well-known that the cattle mutilations are performed on Katrinka's behalf, apparently due to tissue specimens that she needs for her mysterious research work.

White Night said...

Geez Louise!!! I heard on Coast To Coast that a Commander Katrinka was responsible for Area 51 and that he/she/it has been fusing human DNA with feline DNA to create an uber-assasin that can see in the dark, move stealthily and always land on its feet! I didn't think it was true until I started reading messages on this blog. Holy moley! It's a good thing I've been stocking up on emergency food provisions and building my hideout. I'm going to listen to the show tonight to see if anything more is revealed. I'll be sure to let you know.

Rochelle P., editorial consultant said...

My name is Rochelle, and until February 2009 I was Senior Editor for Domestic US Politics at the Gravesend Report (the prestigious online newsletter.)

I remember that we (that is, Gravesend Report) published an article in mid 2008, during the presidential election, about a very persistent rumor in the political world at that time. The rumor was very wild, very extreme. It claimed that presidential candidate Barack Obama had "perhaps" been having an affair with an exotic and mysterious hottie retired ultra-spy and uber-assassin named Katrinka. I have just found a copy of the article online, and re-read it, and it sent chills up and down my spine. Here is the link to the article in the archive section of the Gravesend Report website, should you wish to read it:

Rochelle P., Austin, Texas

Anonymous said...

Have you heard of the loonie New World Order conspiracy theory called Project Blue Beam? It is one of the more deranged and incoherent New World Order-type conspiracy theories, but basically, it claims that NASA has masterminded and is controlling a massive plot, a 4-step conspiracy, to institute chaos, then convert the world to a bizarre New Age religion and also simultaneously take over the world, using force and confusion, in order to start a single NASA-controlled world government called, of course, the "New World Order. This theory has been discussed at times on Coast to Coast AM and on conspiracy websites such as and others.

Here are two links to web articles about Project Blue Beam:

The first is a link to a report on Project Blue Beam at a skeptic's website:

And the following link is for an article on Project Blue Beam at a "true believer" website:

Anyway, getting back to my story about the Project Blue Beam conspiracy theory, the real die-hard conspiracy fanatics believe that the Project Blue Beam conspiracy is real, and that Katrinka and some of her space alien buddies are behind the whole thing.
…submitted Saturday January 9, 2009
by Darren

Anonymous said...

You may be aware that, as of a few days ago, most people in America were very upset because they were afraid that President Obama's upcoming State of the Union speech in early February would bump/pre-empt the first episode of Season 6 of Lost from the ABC airwaves.

Well, there has since been an update -- the San Jose Mercury News bore this headline this morning:

A shaken nation is soothed; 'Lost' won't be pre-empted

the story may be found at:

Word on the street has it that when Katrinka heard that the first 2010 episode of Lost would be bumped off the air, she pulled a few strings and called a few people in high places, and presto, the problem was solved.

She is amazing! And insanely hot and beautiful!

Jon in Basel said...

I smiled when I saw posters above writing about Katrinka's 17 husbands or 18 husbands. If only they knew! Perhaps it is true that Katrinka had 17 or 18 husbands (none last for very long, and some end up dead or missing) in the past 60 or 70 years, but the reality is that she has likely had 20 to 25 husbands each century for at least the last 20 centuries.

Allow me to introduce myself. You may call me Jon. I was born in a tiny village in what is now Bavaria Germany in 1603. I moved to a small city by age 16, where I did quite well, and, after a great many years experimenting with alchemy, the Great Work, I perfected the Philosopher's Stone of Immortality, aka the Elixir Vitae, in 1673. I ingested the elixir shortly thereafter. Since that time, I have had the appearance of a healthy 40 year old, and I essentially do not age, as long as I drink a bit of the elixir every 66 years. I first met Katrinka in Berlin in 1722, and we were married the next year, in 1723. She told me at the time that I was her tenth husband of that century. Our marriage lasted one year. She tried to kill me one year after we were married, on the anniversary of our wedding. She had slipped a potent poison into my tea. The only thing that saved my life was the fact that my tissues and bloodstream were filled with the magical elixir, and thus I got only a mild headache. When she realized that I was not going to die, and realized that I knew what she had done, she disappeared, and was never again seen anywhere in continental Europe for almost one hundred years. No one knows where she lived during that 98-year absence. I bumped into Katrinka two or three more times over the ensuing centuries, but by then, I no longer held a grudge over her earlier attempt at murder.

Jon in Basel

M. Ciccone said...


I am willing to pay you whatever it takes to get your elixir. I have a lot of money, and can get more if I need it. My last marriage ended because my husband insulted me about my age. He called me terrible things like, "old slattern" and "geriatric guttersnipe." I hate him.

I need to regain my youth to show him what he's lost. Right now, as I see my FSH levels rise to astronomical levels younger women like Lady Gaga and Taylor Swift (gag me!) are stealing the limelight that is rightfully mine. I'll show them all...once I get your elixir.

Please leave a message here to let me know where you can meet me and how much money I should bring with me.

With sincerest regards,
M. Ciccone
New York, NY

Jon in Basel said...

Ahem.... ah, Ms "M. Ciccone", yes, I know who you are! I have been an admirer of yours for many years. I do not have any elixir for sale, but one of the commenters on this page -- the same man who told me about this page because he knew of my past history with Katrinka -- is an alchemist and has a version of the Elixir Vitae. He is willing to sell it to highly qualified persons.

But. ... there are some things that you simply must understand first. To prepare for the elixir, you will need to take the Minor Elixir Vitae for a period of four months to six months. During this time you will often feel quite ill or emotionally chaotic as old physical and emotional garbage is healed.

Then, when the preparatory work with the Minor Elixir Vitae has been completed, you will ingest almost 26 grams of the Major Elixir Vitae in small doses spread over a four-month period. However, for most of that four-month period, you will be very weeak and feel very ill due to the transformations that your body and mind will be undergoing. You will be bedridden for much of this time, and will often need assistance with even simple functions such as eating food and visiting the bathroom or bathing.

Thus, you would need to give up all activities in your everyday life for a period of at least four months, and you will need assistants or helpers available to you 24 hours per day, 7 days per week, to help you with the basics of life as you lie bedridden.

At some point during this four months, you will likely lose all hair, teeth and nails, but they will grow back in within two months. That is, if all goes well. You may also go blind for a few weeks.

You would need to repeat the treatment in 33 years, and again in about 240 years.

I believe that he offers 30 grams of the Major Elixir Vitae poweder, more than enought for one full four-month treatment, for about $250,000. But, he only sells to qualified persons.

May this be of assistance to you in your search.

Jon in Basel

M. Ciccone said...

Thank you for the information. I'm confident I'll be able to work with the requirements of the protocol, having already lost my hair in a 40-volume peroxide accident in 1993, and my teeth while married to a certain movie actor who is known for his violent tirades. My nails have been coated in acrylic for almost 30 years now, and I'm certain that surgical glue can be used to affix prosthetic fingernails, if necessary.

As for the months of bedrest, I have been known to isolate myself whilst transforming my personal history and image from that of a 4th Avenue Hooker to a proper English Lady (complete with Oxford accent).

Years later, I reversed the transformation publicly, but I am currently considering another transformation that may take a significant amount of time in seclusion: changing from a middle-aged female Kabbalist of Italian heritage to a fierce young male Zulu Warlord. I expect to be confined for at least four months as I undergo the physical, psychological and cultural changes necessary to complete the metamorphosis.

I will be in touch with the contact you recommended and will begin the process immediately.

I remain yours sincerely,
M. Ciccone

Anonymous said...

Since you are all into Katrinka like she is some kind of hero, how come none of you is talking about the fact that she is the mastermind and kingpin behind the worldwide trade in illegal transplant organs? Or about the fact that she leads the largest organ theft ring in the world?

Ahmet Koc said...

Several years ago after I'd graduated from Askeri Elektronik Sanayi, I was lured by a Turkish businessmen to go the Britain for a job. When I arrived, I was told I needed a medical check-up and was taken to a hospital. I thought the nurses were performing a blood test when they gave me a needle, but the next thing I knew, I awoke in a hospital bed. I felt sick and was confused. I had an incision. I became frightened. The nurse told me that I'd had an appendix attack and they'd had to operate to remove it. It was only later that I learned they'd removed one of my kidneys. It was sold on the black market to a wealthy Norwegian industrialist, Lars Waakt who runs several media companies in Oslo. He, of course, denies this and refused to see me when I contacted his office. I am now working with a Norwegian lawyer to try to get what is owed me for the organ donation I never agreed to make. A kind hearted orderly at the hospital helped me contact the Turkish embassy so I could return home. He told me that he'd heard this had happened many times before at the hospital. He said some woman named Katrinka was rumoured to be the kingpin in the illegal organ harvesting business. If you are offered a job in London be very careful and don't go for a check-up unless you have a friend or family member with you. I warn you, my brothers and sisters, because I suffer each day because I was not warned of the criminal Katrinka and her evil pursuits.

Yours in peace,
Ahmet Koc, ENG

Colleen T. said...

Okay, this is just a joke, right? You people are all friends or something, or maybe you belong to thes same club, and you've all collaborated to create this fantasy story about an ordinary housecat, right? I mean like the stuff about her being immortal and having been a superspy and super-assassin and being a shapeshifter, and being incredibly beautiful, it's all a private joke, right?

Please do me a favor and if I am right, please tell me because this is getting werid right about now, and I do not think I will be able to sleep well tonite unless you confirm for me that this all an elaborate joke.

Thank you very much in advance.

Anonymous said...

Hi Colleen:

This note is in reply to the questions that you asked above. As an insider, I am quite sure that the while Katrinka tale is just a joke, a fantasy, and that there is not really even a cat named Katrinka who in any way even remotely resembles the bizarre tales that these people have been telling.

So, it is all a joke, a fantasy, and you can sleep soundly tonite and just forget about this entire silly page. You are safe, totally safe, and the world is totally safe as well.

Lynne Warting said...

If you want to call my mother, an international spy and uber-assassin a "housecat," so be it.

But I warn you: she is vain and vengeful.

May your death be fast and painless.


Anonymous said...

Lynn forgot to mention that Katrinka is also immortal, and all sources, even her harshest critics, admit that she seems to be entirely above and beyond the law. In other words, legal authorities and law enforcement agents and agencies have never been able touch her.

Anonymous said...

Well, aside from the fact that she is untouchable by the law, there is a more transcendent reality:

She can shapeshift at will and she can instantly travel at will anywhere in our universe that she desires, and can also time-travel at will and travel to alternate inter-dimensional worlds at will.

She is also able to hypontize humans within seconds, and can then force them to do her will, and can even force them to commit murder for her while they are under her spell.
anonymous in NYC

Jason B. Smith-Smand said...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
11 January 2010 Anno Domini

My name is Jason B. Smith-Smand, and I have sent two previous entreaties to this website begging for someone to send me contact information for Katrinka, or at least photographs of her. I have repeatedly offered very large sums of money (in US dollars or Euros, your choice) for either.
Nonetheless, to date, not one person has replied; my email inbox remains entirely empty. I am extremely disappointed and bitter about this unexpected outcome. Therefore, I am immediately tripling each of my previous offers, and I am now offering $150,000 or more for good leads on how to contact Katrinka, and I will pay $30,000 per photo for nude photographs of her.
Please send any information to my email address below, at any time of day or night! I have coded (to prevent spammers from using the address) the email address below by adding spaces and by adding 3s – to render the coded email address below into a usable email address, remove all the spaces and all the 3s. Here is the coded email address:

Jas3on. b. sm3ith.993993 @ 3gmail3.3com

Thank you in advance for doing the heartful and needful! Your help is appreciated greatly!

yours truly in gratitude,
Jason B. Smith-Smand

Geneva, Switzerland
Telluride, CO USA

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