As Liz was doing research for her story, she received this funny item from a front-line knitter who didn't want to be identified. You'll know why when you read it.
All I can say is that I don't think Yarnmarket has a pattern for this particular project!
The X-rated front-line knitting story...
"I'm a DoD contractor, and although I am back Stateside now, I was on a long mission working with the military in Asia. I knit when I'm on the job.
Currently, all of my military coworkers are guys, and they don't - although I do knit stuff for them.
I look for projects that have a beginning, a middle and an end, since a lot of my official work overseas is ongoing/never ending--so it's nice to see results in my knitting.
The irish hiking scarf pattern (from helloyarn.com) was requested by a couple of my friends, but they can't wear them on-duty, since the scarves are not regulation for their uniforms.
I am a small-project knitter: scarves, hats and mittens, although I have knit a pirate flag, many baby blankets (the base has a lot of young families), a couple of teddy bears and a life-sized thigh bone.
I also knit a weenie warmer (which came out HUGE due to an error in gauge.) This was much to my consternation but the owner of the weenie was thrilled.