I'm crabby today. Please tell the telemarketers and spammers to leave me alone.

Maybe it's the time of year...or maybe it's the time of man...

I dunno. I'm just feeling grumpy and grouchy and irritable and icky. I've been inundated with phone calls, spam and notes from sales people who have a new technique they surely must call, "Rude and Presumptuous Selling."

Have you been getting the same types of sales calls and emails I've been getting? Without even consulting you, they set up a time for you to meet! I can't believe this. I got an email from a web company today who shall remain nameless except that I might accidentally refer to them as "My Buys" or "MB" for short.

I had a presentation with MB a while back and decided I didn't need their services right now. So they sent me emails setting up another appointment. "We'll call you on Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. and if that's not a good time for you, let us know when we should call." Ummm...thanks, but I'm busy. I'll call you if I want to speak to you again. If ever. Okay?

Not long afterwards I got another letter, "You missed our last appointment so we'll be calling you tomorrow at 10:00 a.m." No. Please...I already told you I don't want another appointment.

Do they go away? NO! They persisted.

"We have some new features to show you so we'll call you on Thursday at 2:00." NO!!! I don't have time. I don't want another presentation. I've tried to be nice as I've asked you to please not set up appointments with me. But you've started to really bug me. So go away! Shoo! Scat! Scram! Get lost!

After several attempts at politely asking them to not phone and write me constantly, I've decided that the next time I get my appointment notice I'm going to tell them that they can't make it because Dr. Edgin at Mt. Carmel East Hospital has them scheduled for a colonoscopy at that time.

Think they'll get the hint?

To make matters worse, I'm also getting stupid emails from people who say I've been selected for a donation by a Saudi Prince or some such thing...and a good friend in England was mugged and needs several thousand dollars or the hotel won't let her leave...and other emails that say nothing at all but have links that must surely lead me to places I don't want to be.

Am I a bad person for signing the senders' email addresses up for some interesting literature I thought they might enjoy?

With all the unwanted and unsolicited calls and letters I get, I guess I shouldn't complain too much. Yesterday a lady showed up at our office unannounced to meet with Alex. He was in a meeting with a yarn vendor, and she burst right in to try to sell him a new gas service. When he said he was in a meeting, she told him that it was okay. She'd come back later because she had an appointment set up with him in the afternoon at 2:30. He told her he had no such appointment. She said that someone else she spoke to at the company had scheduled it for her.

She should have asked one of us:
We wouldn't set up a meeting on Alex's behalf in a million years.

Needless to say, he didn't buy her new gas service.

And we both marvel at these new selling techniques and whether or not they ever work.