Thursday, December 9, 2010

Happy Rupert Day to all our shoppers...and to the New World Order.

Long time readers of the Yarnmarket blog may remember our Frank Mahovalich. This was when Alex and I celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary by declaring it "Frank Mahovalich Day." Frank's number on the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey team was 27.

Frank, who is now a Senator in Ottawa, Canada, was so tickled by the event he sent us a letter to congratulate us on our "Mahovalich." Obviously, he's got a great sense of humor.

Well, today is our 29th anniversary and I really didn't know what it was -- silver, paper, cellophane, extruded plastic -- until Alex provided an answer this morning when I woke up. It's our Rupert.

My gift was a set of three DVDs entitled "Thinking Allowed." The subtitle is, "Conversations on the leading edge of knowledge and discovery."

Isn't that romantic?

On each of the DVDs is a lecture by Rupert Sheldrake: The Universal Organism, The Present of the Past, A New Science of Life. I can't wait to listen to what he has to say...even if I don't quite understand it all.

I've been hoping to attend one of Rupert Sheldrake's seminars in British Columbia in the summer but my Mom recently directed me to an article that claimed the facility he speaks at is a front for the New World Order. That leaves me conflicted. Do I want to support the New World Order?

I'm not really sure about the NWO, and whether they're affiliated with the Illuminati or the Intelligentsia. It's hard to keep track of those secret groups and there are so many of them that it's easy to get them confused. If they're Merovingians, I'm all for it. Who in the world hasn't dreamed of being a Merovingian?

But if they're part of some group that wants to take over the planet, I need to make a decision. Do I want to be one of the people they take over? Or do I want to join their little club and be one of the World's Elite? I have a feeling that it might be better to be one of 'em rather than against them...but before I commit myself I need a few answers:

1. Is there some sort of uniform I will have to wear if I join the New World Order? If so, what color is it? I don't look good in the primary colors.
2. Is there a special handshake or salute? My memory isn't very good anymore and if it's something really complex that I have to memorize, I might not be able to do it.
3. What are the fees? I work at a yarn shop so if the entry fees are too high I don't think I can join.
4. Do they offer financial assistance to those who can't pay the fees?
5. Where do they meet? If it's Kapuskacing in February, I think I'll pass. If it's Victoria, BC in June, I might be able to make it.
6. How long do the meetings last? Do they provide coffee during the breaks? And gluten-free cookies? Is it okay to sneak out to the bathroom during the speeches?
7. Can I sit in the front row? I'm not very tall and I hate not being able to see the speaker.
8. What are the NWO's goals and strategies for accomplishing their goals? Do they want World Domination? If so, what do they mean by that? Do they want to tell everyone what to do, what to think, and how to live? Do they control the World Economy? Are they in charge of the UN? Do they have translators on staff?
9. Can I be in charge of the bureau in Avignon? When they name their group "New World Order" I've got to assume they're global. And they must have branch offices. So I want Avignon...but I'll settle on Orvieto if Avignon is already taken.
10. Can I have next Thursday off for a doctor's appointment? I bought Alex some socks for our anniversary. He said, "No...I didn't say I wanted socks!" And now he's making me get my ears tested.

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