Thursday, June 30, 2011

Glad Matt Bartlett isn't my kid!


As some of you know, I've been glued to my computer for the past few days watching the Casey Anthony trial. That means that Michele and Stef have been constantly entertained as they hear me clicking away on my keyboard while I'm shouting at my monitor, "Oh, yeah?! You're a stinkin' liar!!!"

This is why I never followed my father's footsteps as a Defense Attorney. Where he sees only "alleged" crimes by "alleged" perpetrators I see dirty, rotten scoundrels who should do hard time for the rest of their miserable, criminal lives. And that's just for people caught jay-walking.

Yes...I know I can be a bit Draconian at times. But, on the other hand, I'm not the least bit Machiavellian -- unless you've got a marshmallow that I happen to want to eat. Then it's each man for himself and my treachery knows no bounds.

But back to the trial.

Imagine you're a 28-year old guy who gets into the courtroom to watch one of the most gut-wrenching trials of the decade. Are you riveted by the tension...the possibility of a young woman getting the death penalty for (allegedly) murdering her own child? Are you watching intensely as each side maneuvers to discredit the other's witnesses? Are you struggling in your own mind to draw a conclusion from all the contradictory data you're hearing from people of dubious credibility?

No.

You're sitting there like a dope giving a finger to the Prosecuting Attorney.

Now, why oh why would you do that?

"I dunno," he shrugged when confronted by a very angry judge.

He was just bright enough to reluctantly concede, "It was stupid."

Stupid? Just stupid?! Yeah...I'd have to say it was stupid. Six days in jail and $643 stupid.

The worst of it is that the guy has to admit that at 28 years of age he:
1. Earns about $14,000 per year
2. Has monthly bills of about $1500 per month
3. Has about $100 in his checking account
4. Has about $12 in his savings account

Okay...so let's do the math. He earns $14K. His bills each year are $18K. He's already on the road to financial ruin. And he's dopey enough to get himself sent to jail for doing something you wouldn't even expect from a 14-year old.

Holy cow!

Matt, I really hope you've learned a lesson. I hope that the people at TGI Friday's don't have to fire you for doing something so unbelievably stupid that the entire country hit itself on the forehead and gasped, "Huh?!!!" when they watched you in court.

But I do hope that your parents give you a much-needed kick in the backside and tell you to act your age. For heaven's sake...you're a 28-year old man.

(Note to TGI Friday's -- Yeah, everyone expects you to fire him.)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I agree with you on just about everything you said, the part about him not loosing his job at TGIF's is where I disagree. Imagine, this guy is stupid enough to flip the bird in one of the biggest court cases in the past few years,then just imagine what this idiot could do to the food of someone he's serving that he doesn't like. No boogers for me today thanks =)

Anonymous said...

Oh and I meant "losing" not Loosing. Brain fart.

Deborah said...

Oh...you're right. I hadn't thought of that.

I wonder if he was the dolt outside the courtroom with a, "Casey, will you marry me?" sign when she was being sentenced?