Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Why I love Maggi Knits...but I'm going to have to fire Michele.

I hate having my picture taken. As a matter of fact, I didn't even have a photographer at my wedding(s). But when I tried on one of Maggie Jackson's creations at TNNA the other day I thought, "This is fantastic!" I couldn't believe how one piece completely transformed my look. And if anyone needs their look transformed, it's me.

The picture to the right is me on a good day. But, as you can see, I'm squinting because I'm out in the sun. And I'm fat because I like ice cream. And I'm wrinkly because our photographer, Michele, seems to have forgotten that we paid a LOT OF MONEY FOR HER TO HAVE PHOTOSHOP!!! which, apparently, she forgot to use to tighten my skin, unsquint my eyes, and thin out my thighs.

Michele is in her early 30s, unbearably thin, and gorgeous. Perhaps it didn't occur to her that some of us might need a little help.

Okay...enough about our former staff member, Michele...now back to me.

As I've gotten older (wider, wrinklier, saggier, grouchier) I've shunned the more creative styles in favor of fashions that scream, "Don't look at me!" If you've ever seen me in person, you'd know this is true. The minute you see me, a little voice in your head shouts, "Don't look! Turn away!" and, obediently, you do.

Alex is always after me to wear trendier clothes while I check out the patterns at Quaker Jane and consider whether Plain Dress is more up my alley. (I have to confess that I actually made this pattern because I thought a priest's cassock would make a really neat coat.)

Anyway, Maggie and her assistant at her TNNA booth put me into a variety of their gorgeous tops and I couldn't believe how nice they looked. On me! Really...I can wear them and not look:
a. immense
b. crazy
c. like my usual boring self.

This was quite a revelation. Now I'm hell bent on knitting myself up several of Maggie's "transformational" fashions. They're easy and they come as kits so you get everything you need including the gorgeous buttons that match perfectly.

There are a lot of fantastic styles and great colors that I might never have chosen because I'm...well...boring. The brilliantly un-boring Maggie has created some terrific modular designs that aren't complicated at all and that are very flattering for virtually every shape. (Even mine. I'm not exactly pear shaped. More like a tetrahedron with legs.)

If you're more creative than I am and you don't need to depend on the full-blown kits, I think you'd really love Maggi Knits patterns and yarns. Maggie is one heck of a fashion designer who made her name in ready to wear. She was the first Irish lady to become famous in this field, and she's a feisty little gal with a sense of humor and a taste for the irreverent that I absolutely love. Let me put it this way: If Maggie and I were together in Vegas, what happened in Vegas would stay on police blotters throughout the civilized world.

If you were lucky enough to attend her fashion show at VK Live in New York last January, you'd know exactly what I mean. She's dangerous. I love her. And I'm going to knit a bunch of her patterns -- like the one she lent to me for these photos.

With the help of Maggie Jackson and Maggi Knits, I can continue to be as boring as I want underneath, but I'll toss one of her fabulous styles over my head and voila! I'll be a fashion icon just like the model, Iman. (Oh...I've got to tell you. I was flicking my TV one Friday night when there she was: Iman. My nemesis. Sure, she might be married to the man I love, but I got to sit at home in my Clorox-stained night gown, gloating, while I watched her trying to sell harem pants on QVC. Yes. There is a God!)

Anyway, take a look at Yarnmarket's selection of Maggi Knits kits, yarns and patterns. I know you'll look great in them. If they can make boring old me look okay, imagine how fantastic they'll look on you!


Jan Darling said...

Well, I think you look lovely in these photos. You need not fear the camera!!

Deborah Knight said...

That's very kind of you. VERY kind. Whenever my photo is posted online I think of how happy I make my ex-husband's new wife (2.0) feel. I sometimes think the purpose of my life is to make Karin feel really, really, really, really secure! (And young and beautiful, too!)

Jen said...

While I feel your pain about having your picture taken... I can't stress to you how irresponsible it is to say that you're fat. Have you really looked at these pictures? How many overweight people would look at that and go "god, if she's fat, I must be nothing short of a beached whale"? How many thin people would look at you and think "I look like that - oh my god, I'm fat!" You might think I'm exaggerating, but the proof of what I'm saying is in your post. For some strange reason, you think you are fat. You are perfectly normal and you think you're fat. Please don't pass that same issue on to other susceptible ladies. While we're seldom truly happy with our weight, we can at least do our best to have a positive, realistic attitude about our bodies. Calling ourselves "fat" is neither positive or realistic (at least in your case).

Deborah Knight said...

Jen, you're right. We have an unhealthy culture that demands that models look skeletal and the average woman have a boy's shape -- but with enormous breasts. The photo actually does me justice. The black clothes and my pose are hiding that I'm more than 20 pounds overweight, and at my height (I'm short and have very tiny bones) that's too much. I quit smoking in 2000 and gained over 20 pounds that I simply cannot lose. I do apologize if I have offended anyone.

Anonymous said...

Well, I hope I'm not hurting your feelings, but you are NOT FAT!! By no stretch of the imagination.

Deborah Knight said...

That's very kind of you to say. Believe me, the photo is doing me justice!