Thursday, March 27, 2008

Be ALERT. The world needs more lerts!

Josh works hard to ensure that we've got oodles of bargains on BargainYARNS, so he was thrilled when we decided to tell everybody about it with a new monthly newsletter, BargainYARNS ALERT! He wasn't so thrilled when we said, " go write it."

What he learned was that writing it is the easy part. The tough part is what Pat had to do: make the darned thing look good in every web browser imaginable.

Now, far be it from me to disparage the multi-millionaire geniuses at Microsoft, but I've got their new Vista program and...well, it's a Hoover. Nothing I see looks like what everyone else is seeing. Maybe there was some secret code I was supposed to type in during installation, but whatever the reason, Vista turns every newsletter I get into a literary Picasso. You can see the parts, and you know they're supposed to go together somehow, but you just can't figure out how.

Pat and Josh worked on that newsletter for days to try to get it to look nice in Vista, but no matter what they did it still looked like a dog's breakfast by the time it reached my computer. Finally, we had to call in the Big Guns: Andy. Andy is Geek Extraordinaire and if he can't figure out how to make something work, it's because Bill Gates has Andy-proofed the code.

Andy figured out what the problem was, and it turned out that it wasn't Bill's fault at all. It was Larry Schmidt's fault because he and his Gang o' Googlers were stripping out code for some reason. Nobody knows why...and if there were any real, live humans who worked at Google, we might call to ask them. (Okay. There are some real, live Googlers. Rachael and Rebecca help us with our Google ads. But I'm absolutely convinced they're the only human Googlers in the organization. Organics, Gmail, and everything else is run entirely by robots. Or gerbils. We've asked Rachael and Rebecca if there are any other people besides them at Google Headquarters, but they've been sworn to secrecy. We're sure we can hear the squeaks of thousands of gerbils in the background whenever we have a teleconference with them.)

Once Andy had found the real culprit, Josh and Pat finished the newsletter and off it went to thousands of people around the world. And do you know what? They liked it! They really liked it! A lot of them signed up to receive future Alerts! so they'll know what's new at BargainYARNS. (In case you didn't know, that's the Yarnmarket sale site.)

If you'd like to get the monthly lowdown on our low-priced yarns, books and other stuff, be sure to subscribe to Josh and Pat's new newsletter. After all their hard work, they'd really appreciate it.

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